Daniel's Blog

New Song

2008-04-15T14:38:00.000-07:00

The Long March

Only took me 2 and a half years to finish another one, but better late than never I guess.

Difference

2008-04-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

There was a saying my grandpa used to use a fair amount. He would say that no matter what the objective to expect very little from your efforts in trying to achieve it. That way when you fail at least you don’t end up getting yourself down, and if you do actually succeed then you're doing that much better off anyways by way of surprise. Admittedly he was as usual just being his own bullshitting self in an attempt to make us laugh (as he still does to this day) but while it may sound kind of morbid to suggest I’m pretty sure he had something there.

Essentially I like to think his point was that there’s a difference between trying and caring; while subtle, it is both solid and quintessential. The latter action most usually resulting in of course disappointment and the former either at best some type of personal fulfillment or worst an un-hurtful detachment. I would assume only the presently or previously afflicted victims of lethargic habituation can appreciate the difficulty of pulling off such a separation since each are usually inseparably linked but then again I have been wrong before so who knows.

Let’s face it, the only way those who are, and have been in the past, served with failure a majority of the time in whatever it is they pursue would or could possibly continue doing what they do is by learning to master said distinction time after time after time. As they say, practice makes perfect…well, that or absent in more ways than one but usually if you've succumbed to such a state you probably didn’t get the point of the exercise especially when it came measuring means and ends.

For example, anyone who isn’t a conservative in the province of Alberta, and who gives two squeezes of shit about what goes on here, can probably attest to the above after last night’s election results. That’s not to say this only applies to politics but obviously given the circumstances right now it’s the easiest thing to apply it to. After all, it would be easy to go off about Bill 46, homeless people, peak oil, the tar sands and voter apathy but I’ll desist since I would lose track of where I’m trying to go with this.

It’s kind of weird. I have this vision in my head lots of times of sail boats, beer, tequila, fruit juice and oceans . It’s what I’d do if the world didn’t cater to economics, Newton’s Third Law and declining marginal utility. I’d spend my time sailing around the world to different island resorts while consuming nothing but large quantities of beer and tequila/rum based fruit drinks. Of course that’s not for today, tomorrow or anytime in the foreseeable future, but who knows, maybe the world one day for us won’t cater to anything at all. But until then I’m gonna have to stick with my grandfather on this one.

Rules

2007-11-01T22:50:00.001-07:00

Simple yet worthwhile to learn and memorize.

1. We are owed absolutely nothing if we don't try.

2. Losing sleep or peace of mind over what could or should have been is counterintuitive considering the drawing of most peoples is to be content. True, I suppose we are attracted to tragedy and misery because there is a type of beauty sired out of the art of diversity in life. Or maybe it's just that we like to prove that the scars that we have acquired throughout time are equal to the blood we have lost ; either way, the smart and unselfish among us are able to understand that in the long term that is no way to live.

3. As the main funny man in Scrubs once said, "...sometimes the best way to lose something is to want it too much".

Enough said.

Between Politicians, Sophists and Human Beings

2007-09-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

“…Having said which we would like to you think about whether such a realist view is as neutral as it is commonsensical. After all, if we teach world politics to generations of students and tell them that people are selfish, then doesn’t that become common sense and don’t they, when they go off into the media or to work for the government departments or the military or even when they talk to their children over the dinner table, simply repeat what they have been taught and, if in positions of power, act accordingly? We will leave you to think about this…and simply point out that we are not convinced that realism is as objective or non-normative as it is portrayed.” ~John Baylis and Steve Smith (The Globalization Of World Politics)

Regardless of your political affiliation and your opinion on American foreign policy, you have to give Congressman Ron Paul credit for having the balls to say what he said. There is no way you go and say something like that to the conservative heartland of America and expect people not to skewer you off the stage. To stand up and take it, and then get back up and march on with your original argument, speaks mountains about the character of a person.

I’m not really interested in talking about the actual issue he brought up because I think it is beyond the more interesting question that can be brought up from it. What got me thinking more was Guiliani’s response and Paul’s refusal to apologize in turn. What is it that makes a good politician these days? In turn, and in perfect conjunction, I think it’s also worth asking what is it that makes a decent human being? Can those two questions be amalgamated? Can you be a good politician and a good human being at the same time? Perhaps in certain issues you can and other you can’t. I’m sure there are those who would certainly argue there are times when catering to ones more compassionate side is inviting manipulation and weakness. I can’t remember who it was, but someone once said entering into politics requires that you take the risk losing your soul in order to save others like yours. To be a leader means you make the difficult choices, which means sometimes sacrificing the few for the many. I don’t know…maybe that’s a little melodramatic but the point is there nonetheless.

Likewise however, I’m sure there are those who would argue catering to realist perspective, where man is inherently selfish and deceiving, simply perpetuates a cycle as was suggested at the top, where there is little hope for a progressive form of international diplomacy in the face of nation-states who only care about the well being of their own sovereignty. And thinking about that, after watching those clips of the debate, one doesn’t really have to wonder how the world has wound up in the position it is in today.

After Congressman Paul made those statements, it’s clear that Mr. Guiliani saw an opening to score some points and he took it. But I think it’s worth pointing out that nowhere does he actually attempt tackle the arguments that the Congressman actually makes and that somewhat depresses me. Obviously with a 30 second reply you’re not going to try and get in depth with something like that, but the manner in which he addresses the issue is just so utterly devoid of any attempt at clarity that I think it speaks volumes about both the mind frame of the business of politics and the habituation of the audience that pays attention to it.

Is painting an issue black and white in order to solve it more important these days than actually deciphering its true colors? In the end it’s kind of one of those “do the means truly justify the ends” questions. I obviously can’t answer that but I think the more situations you have where they do says something very potent about the type of system and society we allow to foster around us.

Let me throw another question into the open here. If you were in Mr. Paul’s shoes, would you refrain from saying what he just said if you thought it would give you a better chance of getting into the White House where you would have the chance to honestly make a difference? Or would you do exactly as he did and take a bullet because you believed serving your ideas is more fundamental to democracy and politics than actual victory ever could be.

Like wise, if you were Mr. Guiliani, would you do as he did and exploit what Mr. Paul said because you thought it would help you score some points? Or would you answer his premise in an intelligent way which furthered the actual debate? I have no problem with people disagreeing with one another; I do however have a problem with people doing so without any aptitude for furthering the understanding of the question at hand. To be quite honest it makes me sick. After all, it was John Stuart Mill once said the truth is only enfeebled by refusing to let it stand against aggressors and I think such a statement is all the more poignant here when referencing it to politics these days whether it be in the United States, Canada, or anywhere else around the world for that matter.

Guiliani is the politician; Congressman Paul, I would argue, is the human being. And I ask you, which would you rather running a country and what type of people do you think run most of the world right now? Answer that question and you’ll most likely learn a great deal about yourself for better or worse.

Back in the New

2007-09-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

I'm currently sitting in the downstairs computer room at the Augustana campus in Camrose. Not that it matters but my absence as of late has simply been a matter of first a little thing called Facebook, which I have become hopelessly addicted to, and secondly the fact that I haven't really felt the need to write in the last 5 months despite of few things that might have been of interest to myself. I'm not sure what really brought that on considering for the past 2 years I been writing non stop on some form of blog or another but it was kind of nice to take a break for a while. Originally the idea for writing was simply to keep an objective view of what was going on in my life but strangely enough a bit of time away from too much thought process is sometimes exactly what is needed to get things in line. Misery is easy; being content is an art.

Anyways, as I said I'm now in Camrose. Moved most of my stuff down here last week to the basement suite I'm going to be staying in for the next 8 months and then went and picked up the rest this past weekend.

Campus is nice. It's currently in the middle of some much needed renovations, but over I'm just stoked to be anywhere other than RDC. I'll probably start up a couple clubs on campus here just to keep myself busy. There was an environmental group called SPAM(Sustainability and Prevention Activism Movement) that was around last year but the girl who ran it, who just so happens to be a friend of our good fellow at Bad Lands to Bland Sands, is currently in Ireland right now and done her degree at Augustana. So far according to the S.A no one has come forward to start the group back up so we'll see where that leads. If no one does come forward I'll either restart it myself or just start another branch of the Post-Carbon Institute here. Also thinking about joining a fencing club so we'll see about that.

Anywho, that's it for now. More later to come hopefully.

2007-08-12T00:19:00.001-07:00

You know, it's been almost over 2 years since I saw her last, and not surprisingly the feeling still remains. It's odd, but despite all the pain and emptiness it has caused me, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I suppose that speaks negativly upon who I am as a person. Then again maybe that's just being human; maybe that's what makes up the best part of us.

I am Severus Snape....(without the additude of course.)

2007-08-12T00:17:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'm still alive. Firefox has been fucking up on this thing for the last little while so I haven't been able to log in for a while. For all my imaginary readers I'll try to do a bit better with the updating in the future.

Smoke

2007-04-08T15:10:00.000-07:00

It's like a fire speading under the snow and even those of us who know about it can't be scared enough to move cause we don't know how close it is to us. It feels like a precipe; like something big is going to find us and it doesn't matter how much we run away or try to turn around and face it, the feeling is still going to remain. I wonder if this is what those living in the mid 1930's felt like most of the time as fasicm started to rise around the world.

Money, religion, atheism, love, hate, life, death, just being plain human- it all equals war eventually. Perhaps I'm off on this, but does anyone else find it ironic by doing the one thing which usually helps stave off conflict between peoples, which is keeping living standards high, we are going to cause conflict? It always was about balance wasn't it...too far either way and we lose it. It eaves me thinking too much emphasis is put on the soveriegnty of individuals and their right to choose their own collective destinies.

I want to be what I think of in my good moments. I want to be able to see a whirl wind of change fueled by outrage and incredualty at our own comfort. I want to be able to look myself in eye in the mirror and say my actions were equal to my talk and lately I can't say I've been able to do so.

This should be about should action, not reaction. It should be about later, and not just now. It should be about them, and not just us. It should be about morals, and not just the idea of them. It should be about neccesity, not conveniance.

If we can't get all of this, then there is little that can be said, despite the vastness of our minds, for this thing we call hope.

------------------------------------

Oh, two other things I should note before I go:

-Plasma Pong and Mitch Hedberg.

Cheers

Apparitions

2007-03-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

I can not begin to describe what it was like watching you in that state last night. I've seen that look on your face once before and I told myself that as long as I lived I never wanted to see it again. You looked like you did back at your house that night in November when you were on the phone with your mom; I thought you had just gotten news that someone had died. For all extensive purposes I suppose last night someone might as well have. I have never in my life seen someone look so shocked and betrayed and I cannot begin to describe how sorry I am that of all the people on this earth it had to be him.

You said thanks while we were talking today for being around last night; I owe you the same. Thank you for trusting me enough as a friend to explain what happened and to let me listen.

Normally I would spell something about wounds and time, but I think we both know it wouldn't be completely true. Scars are scars. All I can say is you're the type of person who affects your friends enough that we'd be willing to bite bullets for you and I think it goes without saying that we're here at anytime and any place if you need us.

Peace.

P.S- Don't let yourself try to rationalize it either. Not that I think you're the type of person who would but last night you were saying you knew you had hurt him and you could understand why he would be mad, even though that didn't make it acceptable. Incase you start thinking too much in the days ahead, love (if that's what it was) is the last fucking excuse in the world for something like this. We both know he's normally a great guy which is why he'll probably be torn up about this for a long time to come, but love requires that you care enough for a person to be willing to let them go. If the person in it can't it's just selfishness and those two elements are all too easily mixed up these days despite their irreconcilable differences.

2007-03-01T23:30:00.000-08:00

Today was a complete gong show.

Me, myself and I only want to do what a sleepless mind wants to do.

10 people

2007-02-26T22:48:00.000-08:00

I started doing some volunteer work for The People's Place Shelter about a month and a half ago here in Red Deer. Tonight was only my third shift and we had to turn people away. 10 of them to be exact.

How things normally work is like this. At the PPS we have 23 people who can live at the shelter for a max of 28 days provided they come in every night not under the influence of any drugs what so ever and that they have a plan to meet while they're there (e.g- find a job, deal with emotional problems, find an apartment, etc.) The other people who need a place to stay (which is around 17 to 23 an average night during winter) are signed up to what is know known as "Inn from the Cold" and given shelter for the night by local churches. Normally 12 to 15 people will go to one church and the others the first church don't have room for will go to a second one. However, tonight was different.

At first the second overflow church said they needed another volunteer (1 or 2 at the most)to stay till 8 in the morning if they were going to open up for the night. So, one of us at the shelter said we'd do it and then next thing you know the church is making the excuse they can't open up if the weather isn't predicted to drop below -20 because they signed some papers with the city of Red Deer saying -20 is the magic number that defines when overflow shelters are needed. What does someone even say to something like that?

It is now -20 degrees celcius (with windchill) and 10 people out of the 22 that applied for Inn from the Cold tonight are sleeping outside.

This type of stuff makes me too tired to be angry.

2007-02-24T22:20:00.000-08:00

It came to me at night, the original base for the idea anyways. All my most intresting ideas come to me then because there is no sun light for me at such a time to illuminate the other ramifications such actions might have.

In the dead of day, it's different. You see the different paths it might lead and you slow yourself down to the point where you move as fast as you would wearing stone shoes while your eyes ricochet back and forth like you were on speed between the desired and the undesired. "Raise the moon, raise it now!" something echoes inside your head.

I hate the bland. That's the reason I become uninterested in life these days; it's the blandness. The repitition and the already determined results of those actions; it sickens me. The last two days my perception hasn't been bland. With action and delayed responses there is nothing but possibility. I think I know what the answer will be, but without it being said, I can still be here. I can be relaxed. Strange how that is eh?

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P.S- I left the message yesterday because I was trying to be interesting despite the fact I knew calling you again might have the effect of being annoying the way I find it annoying when people call me all the time when I don't need to talk to them. I don't want you to think I'm bland. Maybe that's because I am; maybe it's because I'm not. Maybe I like being bland despite the fact that I hate being surrounded by it. Is that possible?

Oh well, whatever. The world is still spinning.

The Vagina Monologues

2007-02-23T23:16:00.000-08:00

Just got back from a showing of the play down in Red Deer. For those of you don't know the Vagina Monologues is the brainchild of Eve Ensler and was written over 11 years ago. Originally it was created for the purpose of celebrating the sexuality of femininity, but has also evolved over the years to become a campaign to stop violence against women. If it ends up coming to your neck of the woods I would strongly reccomend checking it out. The tickets are 25 dollars, but if you volunteer (like me! Thanks Erin) at the play usually you can get yourself in for free.

It was nice to see that The Memorial Centre, which can hold over 800 people, was sold out tonight. For anyone that ends up seeing it in the future keep and ear out for "The Flood" monologue with the Bert Reynolds dream segment coming from the 72 year old. It's a gut squeezer.

Just a few tidbits to keep in mind when considering the status of women in the world today:

-In many countries (Keyna for example) femal circumcision is common practice to be done with a razor or a shard of glass which usually leads to infection or hemmorhaging which can be fatal. For guys, when considering this keep in mind that the female clitorus has over 8000 nerve endings in it which is almost twice the amount on penis. Infibulation (also referred to as pharaonic circumcision), is the most extreme form, consisting of the removal of the clitoris, the adjacent labia (majora and minora), and the joining of the scraped sides of the vulva across the vagina, where they are secured with thorns or sewn with catgut or thread. A small opening is kept to allow passage of urine and menstrual blood. An infibulated woman must be cut open to allow intercourse on the wedding night and is closed again afterwards to secure fidelity to the husband. Drinks anyone?

-Close to a million women and children are trafficked into sex slavery every year. I've mentioned it before but I would strongly reccomend to anyone interested to go and read The Natashas by Victor Malarek for more information on the matter

-In India it is reported that only one in 69 rape cases in India are even reported. Only 20 % of those reported result in convictions for the rape accused. The police, even when they get to know of a rape, or even when a rape victim approaches them, almost always discourages the family from filing a complaint. Often they are threatened, if the alleged rapist is someone in a powerful position. Some other times, the police reminds the victim's family of the social repercussions and attention (and permanent social humiliation, no marriages for anyone else in the family etc. etc) and the victim returns home to wash away all evidence of the crime.

-In Canada it is estimated that only 6% of sexual assaults are reported to police. In 1999 (sorry about the outdated statistic), in Canada, 23,872 sexual assaults (total of all types) were reported to police. You do the math. I'm not a girl so this is just a guess, but from those I have talked to about such things one could easily make the argument most women do not feel comfortable going to the police because of humiliation and or lack of confidence in the peoples that are supposed to be protecting them due to unfair streotyping.

Given these types of attitudes by men in all societies awarness campaigns put on by shows like The Vagina Monologues are all the more poignently important these days. Your actions are of course always influenced by your beliefs and without education ingnorance only perpetuates itself leading to the statitics in the latter.

For more information on the Vagina Monologues you can go here and for more information on the attrocities that are committed towards women all over the world you can go here.

Catching Thoughts Shaped like Gingerbread Men

2007-02-22T14:01:00.000-08:00

I used to labor under the belief that once something is done, it is done. The great and at the same time horrible fact about most things on this is earth is that such a phrase can usually be proven wrong.

I am about to try and undo the end of something that has already passed. I have very little expectation that I will succeed but strangely enough that doesn't seem to matter to me as much as it might have sometime ago. Make no mistake, what I'm going to attempt is selfish; there is no getting around that and I wouldn't in a life time try to convince anyone otherwise. So, for that, I apologize. All I can do is try and justify the lexicon of the word in its present footing.

When I say selfish, I do not mean it with its usual negative conotation that I am thinking only of myself at the expense of another, not entirely anyways. For the last while I have been trying to let go of someone who for her own reasons felt the need to let go of me. I swear to God I've been trying. Unfortunately, I haven't done such a good job, despite the fact that I doubt more than a few people actually know.

The word is geared in a sense that it is meant to bring me towards an end which will bring me towards one of two other endings, one of which will involve the possible annoyance of another. I say annoyance in that because if something ends there is usually a reason and rythem for that ending and rarely have I been one to ever challenge such things. I mean, who is anyone to put the weight on another that they are the reason for a possible detriment in that persons own life?

Whatever happens all I ask is you know that that's not what I'm getting at ok? My failings are my own and no one elses. I've just been thinking latley that when I've been in such situtions before I've always considered the attempt of going back to be a weakness, and I'm not even sure I still don't. But where emotion is involved, I'm not so sure anymore I can blame people for at least trying- for at least being honest. Obviously there is line not to be crossed, but I think such a line would have more to do with repetition than it would the actual shape.

My honesty is that I still miss you. I miss everything about you. The way your hair used to smell in the morning, the feel of your skin, the way you'd smile when I'd smile looking at you. God you had a beautiful smile.

Things end. I've never been under any illusion that would say otherwise. But, if the things I mentioned above were only meant to be witnessed by me for a short amount of time, then I need to be 100% sure there's nothing left of me in your head.

Once I know I promise I will push myself along and leave this be.

California

2007-02-12T08:33:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is common sense. It's nice to meet you.

The incandescent light bulb, perfected for mass use by Thomas A. Edison in the late 19th century, is being supplanted by fluorescent lighting that is more efficient and longer lasting. Last month, California Assemblyman Lloyd Levine announced he would propose a bill to ban the use of incandescent bulbs in his state.

And Thursday, New Jersey Assemblyman Larry Chatzidakis introduced a bill that calls for the state to switch to fluorescent lighting in government buildings over the next three years.

It will be interesting to see if passed, what kind of a precident this could set for other states or provinces around the world.

Hello Sunset, Hello Sunrise

2007-02-07T22:14:00.000-08:00

I’ve been wondering lately, who do you think had it worse? Hobbs for having to believe in the worst in mankind when all one normally wants to do is believe in the best; or Locke for choosing to believe in the best in a world where the opposite would normally be easier perceived?

I want my money back.

The Only Currency

2007-01-25T21:24:00.000-08:00

You know, there is almost no one I know around my age (18-23), as a friend or even acquaintance, that has ended up with someone they love; and that makes me sad.

Machiavelli is a choice, one which becomes much easier with the multiplication of the above.

Faces of War

2007-01-22T16:34:00.000-08:00

My cousin will be in Afgahnistan before this week is over...

Came across these earlier on in the morning; I'm not sure why I feel the need to post them but I do. The website claims they were after American and British air raids in Iraq. Regardless of your political affiliation, or your belief on the athenticity of the context, I would argue it would be very hard to say such choas during any times of war is over exagerated.

They're beyond graphic so don't say you weren't warned.

Images taken from www.portia.org/chapter12/iraq.html

Oh, and the http://www.dailykos.com has a worthwhile entry from yesterday that's in the same vein.

An Escape Route

2006-12-30T23:33:00.000-08:00

There are many things that scare me about life.

I was searching around on you tube a little while ago looking at random videos as I do when I'm bored and ended up coming across this. (I would recommend anyone planning to read further watch this video or the rest of this post will probably seem somewhat thesisless) Now, regardless of the authenticity of the woman in question, there is no negating the authenticity of the topic and it's relation to human beings in general. Likewise, in relation to other emotions, there is no denying the scope of inquiry as to the effect we allow them to have on us, be it hate, lust, empathy, remorse, boredom or whatever you want to pull out of the hat.

The internet is a unprecedented tool, which obviously for better and worse, has the ability to connect people with one another. Considering this, and the things I've seen and read here (and the people I've met over the past 5 years) I've been wondering to what end the human psyc can reach, if indeed there is such a thing as an end or a human psyc for that matter. Afterall, most action and reaction in this world is caused by it.

Which brings one to the question of what exactly emotion is and what drives it. Chemical reactions in the brain and the body? Or something more, something infinitely more spiritual. Or then again maybe a mixture of both? Because when you think about it, while chemical reactions are responsible for thoughts and feelings, neither the latter or the former are physical manifestations in themselves and it begs the chicken and the egg question as to where chemical reactions come from in the first place.

I bring all of this up because I've been thinking lately about a couple things. First, I've been considering the different ways one can succeed or fail in life due to external influence of the Systems Theory on the emotional spectrum. Of course such words as "succeed" and "fail" are entirely dependant upon the individual undertaking them in their own lexicon, but I would still argue everyone has boundaries which if passed or not reached define those words. Secondly, I've been considering the extremes such emotion entails and what a massive pool that would make up if it could be manifested into a physically observable thing. If you can for a moment, if you're lucky enough, think of a memory you share with someone who meant a lot to you and way you felt when in their presence (the fading of the external world into none existence). Now imagine that a billion times greater and combine it up into little pill someone could swallow to make them feel whole and imagine the absolute euphoria that would follow./ Next however, imagine a violent moment or physical confrontation you've also been in where pain was fully present. Then imagine all of the murders, all of the rapes, all the torture, all of the beatings going on right now, and then consider the affect it has on each and every victim and their families, and then imagine all of that loss thrust like a knife into your gut and the resulting agony that would exist in one person if they ever were forced to bare it all./Next, imagine or remember a time where you had to degrade yourself in order to make ends meet (bill payments anyone?) There is a scene in Cinderella Man where Russel Crow's character, after his wife has to take their children to their grandparents so they don't freeze and starve to death, is forced to go to social assistance and then to his old boxing collegues in Madison Sqaure Garden and beg for enough change to pay his electricity and heating bills. He walks around to each person in the room in a state of what a description of complete uselessness would fail miserably to describe./ I think as human beings we can get so deep in these things, whatever extreme they may be, and then not know how to handle it. Fear, ladies and gents- it's a lack of control.

I fear dying alone. I fear living alone. I fear failing to help those that matter most to me. I fear my myself. I fear not being able to be an honest human being. I fear what the future is going to bring to society. I fear inadequecy. I fear fear itself. I fear failing to help those I don't know because I know everyone is the same when it comes to the basics. The latter and the third to me most of all represent failing on a human level and are consequently the most important to me. I fear them as failure because they're not necessarily problems that can be fixed easily. You can't look into a book and say "ahhh, yes, that's what I was doing wrong and here is the action needed to rectify that. God bless Newton".

That's most certainly not to say applied science and math can not be applied to socio-personal, economic or political problems (for every reaction there is and equal and opposite reaction, duh) but human minds are not books. They can't be opened and examined and then be proclaimed understood. There is too much information that is constantly being changed due to billions and trillions of external and internal stimuli smattering together and bouncing off each other like atoms in the sun.

I don't consider all of this with an intent to confuse or depress anyone, but more for the opposite effect- not to explain the unexplainable, but simply to justify it.

Never forget that perfection's only imperfection is itself; because it, like the universe, will forever be expanding. Maybe if we actually bothered to sit down for a second we might realize that imperfection is perfection in the sense that you've already reached your destination. Maybe then we'd all stop weighing ourselves down and be content for once by enjoying what's here instead of wondering about what's not. That's not to say wondering doesn't drive people to do good things, it drives us to do great things; but destroying yourself by guilt or self pity is just as inhibitive as ignorance itself. As human beings we don't work in spite of struggle, we work because of it. The whole of human history has been filled with evolution specifically because we were forced to deal with problems which were both external and internal.

"not all those who wonder are lost."

I like that saying. Not sure who came up with it but I like to think that it can have a twofold meaning. On one side I like to think it means purpose has the ability to exist without the individual possessing it even realizing what it is and that no matter how blind someone is as to their destination, there is still that indestructible thing embedded inside our heads called hope which keeps us walking. On the other hand I also like to think that in relation to the above paragraph, it means time is necessary for us to figure out that despite the external elements influencing our thoughts, purpose can be chosen by us . We choose to see what external factors influence our thoughts and actions just like we choose to see the half empty or half full...actually, for the sake of not sounding cliched I'm not going to finish that sentence. You know where I was going with it. I guess it's kind of a free will if you want it type thing.

What is failure or success? I think more importantly to be asked is what it is you can learn from those two whatever their meaning may be to you when they occur. I don't fear mistakes, they are and will remain as constant as breath itself; I fear not learning from them. That to me is failure. Of course that's not a new concept but it never hurts to remind oneself.

There are many things that scare me about life, but conversely, those are also the things that I also simultaneously love about it- I love being given the chance to learn. I'd choose to be overtaken any day by an interesting, if at certain points painful life, than an uneventful one. Because regardless of how I'm able to impact different problems, the way I react and don't react to them in the first place defines whether I fail or succeed.

What about you?

----------------------------------------

Edit- And it appears that over the course of the 12 days it took me to write this the user who posted the video I had linked at the top decided to remove her video and thus about 40 percent of this entry has now lost its meaning. Actually I shouldn't say meaning but more its emotional lace. The girl was around 22 and was posting about human beings and our willingness to pervert ourselves and do ridiculas things in order to fufill our needs of being loved by others. She talked about her now former boy friend asking her, in the past, to admit to a hit and run he did while drunk, and long story short, she ending up doing jail time while her ex was running around with other women. The topic from there just moved on to commonality of needs and a consequent inability to deal with the consquences of fufilling those needs and it just got me thinking about life in general.

If the video gets put back I'll up throw a fresh link up later.

A Bit Of The Past...

2006-12-21T11:15:00.000-08:00

I was looking around on my computer last night and came across some old entries I had made when I still had my LiveJournal account. It's weird because one of the reasons I switched to blogger in the first place, on top of a better design, was that I didn't like most of the posts I had made on LJ. Strangely enough looking back, a lot of posts I was making near the end were some of the most honest things I've ever written. Now, generally I wouldn't post something like what I'm about to, seeing as it's about as personal as one could get; but since it's looong done, I think I can share it without it being bothering me.

June 26, 2005

I wish I had met you at later age. I wish I had met you at a time where there was no history of something that was nothing between us. I wish I could meet you for the first time tommorow when I wake up and drive into town to do some groceries and ask if you want to grab a coffee or something.

(Then again without knowing you previously I probably would have no comprehension of what I could gain or lose at any second of my life right now, so maybe that's not the best thing to wish for.)

It's the obstruction of thought because of previous thought that worms it's way into me everytime I try to figure out what just happened and what to do about it but then makes me realize any action probably wouldn't do any good becaues it's up to you. This is a plague between us that will always be a part of me whether I want it to or not.

I am who I am, for better and worse, because of the absence of you.

I suppose loss is the wrong word to describe this. If there is no such thing as free will then this was built so it would never be used. I believe the conclusion I came to the last time this happened was that it was to...complete me. To be complete only when you're not whole. Scary thought. (Actually I just came up with that now) Not that I'll never fall in love again, it's just that this is probably neccesary to carry me into something I'm meant to be.

If this is what it is I promise not to wallow in it. I can't stand people who do that. I can easily move in other directions. This was just a weird trip back in time that was done for the purpose of I don't have a fucking clue is all.

Night.

May 2, 2005

If this were heaven, hell below wouldn't exist. And if I were smart, I would know better than to lose sleep over it.

I'm not.

So I guess we'll see what that brings.

Some random and some not random thoughts:

-The input costs that create civil society are huge, and are by no stretch noble in the means that are sometimes required to capture them. So that really begs the question, is civility really civil if the tools used to require those inputs aren't?

-Perhaps this is something like survivors guilt. If you burn something, it will burn. Sometimes burning is good; take forest fires for example. I can't explain to you the specifics, but I hear forest fires help rejuvinate certain aspects of old forests somehow. I don't need to explain the less desirable effects of fire. If you bend something it will snap. Sometimes snapping things is good; sometimes it's bad. If you water something it will grow or it will die depending on how much you give it. In the end, that's all there is, life or death. It's the in-between that fucks with you so much because no matter how close you are to either you never know which is coming because of that thing called hope. There's a reason they say tension kills.

-New Ryan Adams is out tommorow; I think I'll go pick it up along with David Usher's new one.

-Actually I probably won't because I just remembered I have no money.

-I like to use semi colons and comma's a lot; but really, I only think I know when to use them. I took an English class all about that stuff in my first semester this year and then forgot half the material. Sometimes I think I get it right and I'm sure a lot of times I don't. Sorry bout that.

-My English teacher was a kick ass guy. I've been privileged enough in my time to have a few of those teachers who you just know are passionate about what they're teaching and because they so strongly believe in it they make you believe in it to.

-It's 11:56 and I need to go to bed.

-I'll try my best to do more updating in the future.

The home studio/ computer/ spare room

2006-12-06T12:27:00.000-08:00

I love this room. Why I'm not entirely sure but I think it may have something to do with the old saying "you don't know what you have until someone threatens to take it away". The folks are threatening to start moving everything around because apparently "it's too crowded" and since it is their house I have little to no say in the end process of things of this nature.

Anyways, just incase it does get re-modeled I felt these belonged in here. (sniff) I'm gunna miss you little buddy.

you can just stop talking, I hear your silence loud and clear

2006-12-02T23:57:00.000-08:00

...

Today is...

2006-11-28T22:13:00.000-08:00

Well, hasn't this been an interesting last 24 hours. I had a horrible night last night, a horrible day today given that I spent all of it dizzy with a headache up until 3:30 PM doing what I've been doing for the past 4 days straight which is working like mad to finish my 320 poli sci book report which was supposed to be in a long time ago. Then I came home and got some even worse news from the folks and we're now waiting to get confirmation if its true.

Now, given all these things I could make a long winded rant about how much life sucks and how much I would rather be somewhere else.

But that wouldn't really be in line with who it is I'm trying to become. If there is one thing I've learned clear as tropical waters this year it's that I can't tolerate self pity from myself. I find it revolting. Crap happens, plain and simple. Understand it, accept it and move on. Things happen for reasons you may not understand for a long time after they do and many people have it worse than you do.
Just try to remember there are good people and things in this world and while they may not seem large in numbers try to remember a little bit of good trumps a whole lot of you know what anytime and anywhere if you're willing to let it.

So with this in mind I'm going to make a list of all the things I am thankful for and from this day on Nov 28th will now be known as the "what Daniel is thankful for day".

They are off the top of my head and in no particular order:

-The house. It's huge, comfy, with a fire place and a room I love to death. When you consider that more than half the world lives on less than a dollar day it makes you end up asking how you got lucky enough not to have to live homeless or in some third world country.

-Being fortunate enough to eat when I ever I want.

-My girlfriend. There are many things I'm thankful for when it comes to you but I'd have to say off the top of my head I'm thankful for when I get to fall asleep and wake up holding you. Touch, and I'm not refering to that in a sexual way for anyone wondering, is a wonderful warm thing that too many people I'm sure don't experiance often enough.

-The Jolly Farmer. It's a little pub here in Ponoka and the only place in Alberta that reminds me of B.C pubs. I get to go there every week and relax.

-Professors who for some strange reason feel reason to give you condifence and credit. Why I recieve it I don't know why and more to the point don't care anymore. Sometimes it really is the end product that's important and not the means. I say that because sometimes the end is what illuminates the means you may not have been able to see previously.

-The fact that I can make music however shitty or good it may be.

-Harry Potter books.

-The Political Science Society. Each year I am amazed at the people I meet and despite their diverse personalites the fact that they have an ability to work with each other towards something better. Like I said on the myspace entry, it makes me have faith in the world in general because you get to see people producing ideas and moving them into something solid first hand. Actually you know what? I shouldn't just say the Poli Sci Society. Make that anyone I meet in school who cares about something in general because I know many in RDC who fall into that catagory.

-My friends. They have their bad qualities, but so do I and they stick by me regardless of them. I can say without hesitation that the good things outweigh the bad and I appreciate the company and advice all of them are willing to try and share if I need it at the drop of a pin.

-Vacations.

-Seeing the faces Randy's baby makes, especially when he follows the coffee cup up and down. I love the faces babys make. They're so...weightless.

I'm sure there are more things but those are all of them I can think of at the moment.

2006-11-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

Just so I no one says I don't give credit where credit is due

It'll be interesting to see how Chernushenko and Jaccard work together. For those of you how don't know Dr. Jaccard is the author of Sustainable Fossil Fuels : The Unusual Suspect in the Quest for Clean and Enduring Energy.

It's nice to know thay despite the lack of talk about it in the January election, the environment is now pretty much something that all party's have to address regardless of their personal views on the matter.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Other stuff:

-Good for a quick laugh

-Had a really good weekend.

Updates galore

2006-11-11T22:33:00.000-08:00

So much to talk about, so little motivation to do so. But, I'll try anyways.

-Obviously the forum was this Tuesday. I'm not really to sure what to say about it. A couple councilmen and our MLA were among the 25 that showed up to see the film and hear Ricardo speak after I asked them to attend. I'm not sure whether to be more mad at the conservatives who can't grasp the message of the film, or the speakers in the film for making so hard for the conservatives to feel like they're not being slapped in the face when they try to watch it.

-There's this girl from one of my poli sci classes I've been seeing for the past two weeks. She's the head of the New Democractic Youth on campus and...I honestly don't know what say about her- mainly because I don't want to jinx this by explaining what she means to me. If it works it works and if it doesn't it doesn't. There's nothing I can do about it seeing as we are who we are. All I'll say is I've never met anyone who is as close to me in terms of politics as she is and last night's discussion was one that I'll probably never forget so I'll just say thanks again and leave it at that.

-The Youth Environmental Summit was a worthwhile experiance. I was able to spend about 15 minutes talking to our environment minister "Guy Boutileer (yeah, I can't spell), not that I think it really did any good but whatever.

-I'm drunk

cheers,

~This guy

2006-10-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

Nov 7th

If 60 to 75 dollar a barrel oil has created labour shortages and a rise in the price of construction and manufacturing the likes of which we have seen in Alberta within the last year, what is 150 or 200 a dollar a barrel going to do when peak oil hits?

On November the 7th, at the Ponoka Legion, there will be a screening of "The End of Suburbia" followed by a lecture and question session headed by Ricardo Acuna, executive Director of the Parkland Institute.

The purpose of the screening, aside from raising awarness about Peak Oil, will be an attempt at predicting what is ahead for local Albertan communities in an energy constrained future. Admission is free and the event itself starts at 7:00 PM.

Whatever

2006-10-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

I skipped math today. Woke up at about 7:30, had breakfast and did some other things, of which included watching an old 9 minute documentary of the making of Blink 182's last album before they broke up on you tube. I don't think I've ever talked about blink on here have I? I'll have to remind myself to do that one of these days since the last album they created is one of the most inspirational cds I've ever heard. But that's for another time.

Watching the documentary made me start thinking about how much I really hate driving to classes, especially math. I'm never going to use the bloody stuff yet I have to waste 500 dollars and copious amounts of time on it so I can get into the U of C so more math teachers can be supplied with jobs. It also made me start thinking about how much I would really rather be recording music for a living. Well, of course there is no way that would pay the bills, but you know, it'd be nice to have it be a part time thing that I'd work on while I wasn't working at a grocery store or wherever. I'd certainly be a happier person. You know why? Because when doing this- classes and paying attention to everything around you- I find it just about impossible to be care free. That's why I loved Blink's last album, it had this fresh kind of uplifting sound to it that I can't explain. I'm able to put myself into this mindframe where I can't be touched and I sometimes think if I was writing music I could feel like that more often. I know I do when I give myself the time to write. With music there is nothing but what you choose to accept in there. I can't explain how blissful that type of simplicity is. With classes and issues you're working towards an end, but you're never there; with music the work is just as important as the end. The fact that you're writing, purging and creating at the same time is its own reward. There is no uncertainty and I can honestly say uncertainty is one of the most unpleasent things I would imagine human beings can live with.

Other random things:

-I want to live in what the Chinese would prefer I don't refer to as Tibet for a while. Why was it that the one religion that got it right in this godforsaken world had to be situated in marching distance of the Chinese?

-I want to build a house made out of renewable energies or have the the grid provide me energy made from renewables.

-I seem to have developed a slight obsession with Tim Hortens coffee and bagels.

-Angels and Airwaves had great potential but fell far short of it, with the exception of the first single, and Tom Delonge needs to stop pulling this Axel Rose shit with his videos.

-Speaking of olf Blink members, despite it not being very uplifting, Plus 44's new album sounds like it's going to be quite interesting.

-The Jolly Farmer, in Ponoka, is the greatest pub in Alberta (well, that I've been to anyways). Alberta pubs suck.

-I'm president of Political Science Society, despite giving a speech that would have kicked my own ass, because no one was running against me.

-We held a PC Q and A forum for some of the candidates looking to replace Klein yesterday. Of the two I had a chance to talk to after (Oberg and Doerksen) neither new anything about peak oil. Nice guys though I guess.

-Harry Potter is the greatest book series my generation will probably see for the next 50 years.

-I seem to be watching a lot of chick flicks lately.

That is all.

With a smile...

2006-10-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

The Military Commisions Act

The bill forbids treatment of detainees that would constitute war crimes - such as torture, rape and biological experiments - but gives the president the authority to decide which other techniques interrogators can use.

But as they say, the devil is in the details

The acts of torture now made legal and wholesome include the burning of flesh, the breaking of bones, the placing of needles under fingernails, the tearing of limbs, the disfiguring of faces, and the infliction of general bodily injury that may or may not entail – the fine print of the law isn't clear, making it all the more nefarious, as fine print always is – the loss of a finger or a toe or a testicle.

If this is true I really don't know what to say. If it is it will be perversely ironic considering The Onion was joking around a couple weeks ago about congress debating what voltage of electricity was too extreme to use on male or female genitalia during interrogation.

2006-10-15T02:03:00.000-07:00

Purgatory is a means to an end, nothing more. Because make no mistake, while this is not hell, this is most certainly not heaven. If it were everyone would be with those they love.

Taking a punch to save a bullet (clean coal?)

2006-10-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

It's ten days before the Alberta Youth Environmental Summit in Kannanaskis and in a couple hours I'm going to be heading out to the legislature in Edmonton to meet some NDP'ers who are going to be attending as well.

I've been trying to gather issues to bring up when I'm there between the 11-13 but of course one issue will dominate whatever time I have for my agenda and that will be peak oil. This week I was talking to my poli sci teacher about what I was going to miss while I was away and during the course of the discussion we ended up talking about Alberta and clean coal. At first I was asking Dave if he could think of a retort to the argument that individual communities should be taking initiatives to become less dependant on fossil fuels because when global oil and gas production peak, other than rising inflation, a by product will be a switch to coal as a primary energy source which will of course worsen global warming. I figured I might as well throw this to Dave to get an idea of how others at the summit might respond to it. However, from this question Dave pointed out, apparently based on an opinion peice written by Red Deer MP Bob Mills (one of the few environmental conservative MPs in this country) that within the next 5-10 years China is planning to bring online over 500 coal fired plants to provide electricity to their citizens who are becoming less poor as time goes on. What does any of this have to do with Alberta's environment you ask? Well, because Alberta has vast coal reserves and obviously vast amounts of unconventional oil in the tar sands, we're going to reap a lot of money as hydrocarbon prices begin to rise, leaving us with the task of where to divert this cash flow too. Dave thinks that because the federal conservatives know they are vaunrable on the environment, they're going to announce a plan to invest in clean coal technology, with numerous research grants going to the U of A to research the technology. The onus being if we could actually create the technology we could make up for failing to meet our Kyoto targets by migitating the effect China's 500 coal fired plants are going to have on the environment and perhaps even dampen inflation when it rears its ugly head again.

Of course the question then remains though, what happens if we spend all of this money on trying to develop the technology and we fail?

Not really a black and white issue. Then again what is these days?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Other food for thought:

Back in the summer, provincial NDP energy critic David Eggan commented on Micheal Ignatieff's campaign pledge to create a carbon tax for consumers saying it was a horrible idea because Albertan's are alrady taxed enough on fuel consumption as it is. Given that Mr Eggan had come to speak almost a year earlier at a screening of "The End Of Suburbia" in the Red Deer College I was suprised to hear such a statement coming from him; not to mention since he represents the NDP in Alberta here. A couple weeks ago Jeff Sloychuck, former president of The Red Deer College Political Science Society, and a current assistant to provincial NDP leader Brian Mason, contacted me through e-mail inquiring as to whether or not I was aware of the youth environmental summit coming up and whether or not I had contacted my local MLA to see if I could participate . I replied back informing him that I was already going as a delegate for my riding of Ponoka-Lacombe. I also however took the time to bring up the Eggan's comment and to ask him whether it was representative of the NDP is general. This is what he replied back with:

Hello again Daniel, sorry for the delay.

I just got off the phone with Mr. Eggen, and here's the short answer to your query:

A carbon tax is unpalatable to the NDP because it puts a disproportionate amount of onus on the consumer, rather than the producer of the industrial waste. Ignatieff, as well as Al Gore, would like nothing more than to leave the question of environmental change up to each isolated individual. After all, that's the church of liberalism
(good ol' political science, eh?). While there is no question that each individual has a role to play, in the vast sea of production, it is a drop in the bucket. The real producers are Celanese Canada, Syncrude,Suncor, etc., etc., the list goes on!

In social democracy's continued emphasis on 'working people', the 'working class', or whatever the rhetoric of the day is, a carbon tax based directly on whatever means they use to get to work to pay their steadily increasing bills and cost of living with the steadily declining purchasing power and the provisions of the welfare state is unfair, and unrealistic.

The regulatory onus must be put square on the polluters who contribute to the lion's share of global warming. In the meantime, more emphasis should be put on urban planning and public transportation by policy makers who want to ease a person's reliance upon the automobile. Cities should receive a larger portion of the federal gas tax in order to achieve their goals in expanded bus routes and extended light rail transit (a federal issue). Tax incentives are helpful in a bid to lessen
the middle classes' reliance upon their vehicles in getting to work, but increasing the tax burden on working families by the means of a flat, regressive carbon tax is ignoring the real environmental enemies - the world's largest polluters are corporations!

Of course, Mr. Eggen could have never explained that in two lines of newspaper text. I have an opinion piece of his that he wrote for the Journal not too long ago, but it is in paper form and I need to track down an electronic source (online Journal costs money). We also have several substantial position papers ranging from Kyoto to the Green Fund to creating Green jobs, also in paper form, as well as a mountain of party policy that would have to be requested from ericab@shaw.ca...

Like I said, just somethings to think about.

2006-09-07T19:23:00.000-07:00

“It’s like constantly traveling, but you don’t see well.”

For a while now, I’ve been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. For a while now, I’ve also been trying to figure out what it is I’m trying to become. Not surprisingly, both of these questions unanswered are interrelated. How is it you measure someone’s worth? Can an individual who is simply ignorant of certain things in this world be truly worthless because he or she does not act to change those things? Likewise, is an individual aware of said things more worthless at the same time because he or she doesn’t act in according to his or her own emotional passion on the issue?

There is so much shit that goes on in the world. It’s estimated that over 800 to 900,000 women and children are trafficked into slavery annually; and not just any type of slavery- it’s sex slavery. Women young as 11 and 12 are forced to fuck men of all shapes and sizes. If you want an idea as to the magnitude of this problem go out and buy “The Natasha’s" by Victor Malarek. Also, global oil production is about to peak. It will be an unprecedented event in history seeing as energy runs the global economy and even though we have other types of energy, most with good EROEI’s are too dirty to continue to use.

For the last 6 days I was on a trip in B.C to get away from work and relax before school starts again. It’s strange, but the older I get the less I find myself able to enjoy life. There were maybe 5 moments in the trip where I was fully conscious I was enjoying myself. The rest of the time was just like was watching someone else do everything I was doing. It’s a mixture of both private and public elements playing into this I’m sure, but to which has a bigger hand, I don’t know. Whatever it is I hate it. There was a time when things were less complicated. Even when they were still complicated to a personal extent I still enjoyed it. “The last victim of this plague between us” indeed.

All I can say is this not a healthy place to live inside my head. Enough should be enough; happiness is a choice. I remembered it for a while and forgot it for a longer time, but maybe the reason for all of this is for me to simply overcome all of it.

The next time you see me let's hope things are farther along than right now.

-----------------------------------------------

quote of the week:

Here I sit, thousands of miles distant, a stranger to more than the streets outside this window. I am not dead, but that is not to say that I am alive either. In truth, no one can claim that state of being entirely and still posses a soul.

Well, except for tibetan monks and those of us who have been fortunate enough to be in love; but that's for another day.

Events and Speakers- Diana Gibson of the Parkland Institute to speak about peak oil in Ponoka

2006-08-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

It's nice to see with the end of summer closing in some things I've been trying to marshal for the last 3 to 4 months are finally showing some shape.

First thing’s first. This Friday I will be traveling down to Edmonton to start my volunteer work with City Farm Edmonton. Given my navigating skills in large cities I will most likely be late, but other than that, along with the normal butterflies one gets before starting a new project, I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do to help out. For anyone in the Edmonton area interested in this kind of stuff visit www.city-farm.org. I'll post how everything goes on the weekend.

Secondly, last week I received confirmation that this October 11th to the 13th I will be a delegate at the Alberta Youth Environmental Summit in Kananaskis (YES). Over 200 delegates will gather from different municipalities around the province to discuss different environmental concerns facing this province and the different solutions needed to tackle them. Obviously myself, and hopefully other delegates, will take this opportunity to raise the issue of peak oil.

Lastly, and most importantly, I'm elated to say I've been able to confirm Diana Gibson (of the Parkland Institute) as the speaker for the "The End of Suburbia" screening that will be occurring sometime this October in Ponoka. There is no set date yet, but when Mrs. Gibson gets back to me in a week or so I'll post all of the needed info here.

That's about it for now

Transitions?

2006-08-09T22:18:00.000-07:00

Is it strange to feel you have done far too little in the face of far too much at this age? I think I will look back on this time in my life and see that either my youth defined the ambition in my heart and head or vice versa.

I'm hoping for the latter seeing as I don't feel old enough right now.

Finally

2006-08-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

Thank sweet Mother of God, she's going back to Winnipeg.

Israel and Lebanon

2006-07-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

All this for two men

Of course it's about more than just them though isn't it? Like a Franz Ferdinand, but on a smaller level, this has been brewing for quite some time.

I could start ranting right now about reactions, under reactions overreactions, extremeists, cowards and The U.S.

I could, but I won't. The Middle East isn't exactly something I'm very educated on so anything I say would be little more than opinion.

All I can say is I pity the civilians on both sides right now, but more so right now those in Lebanon. Reports are saying bridges to many different cities have been destroyed trapping civilians who want to leave and bloggers there have been claimimg there is little discrimination between military targets and civilian ones. Given the past record of different countries during war times I have little trouble believing that.

I'd like to think if such a situation existed in Canada and I ended up losing someone close to me, I would have the courage and respect for those that could be lost in the future not to take or support retaliatory action. How could I know my actions wouldn't result in the death of my neighbor's son or daughter when the bystanders of those I extracted revenge on came to take theirs on me?

Such responses on an individual level at least seem...cowardly to me, for either side involved.

Then again for a conflict that has been going on for the last half century,in one form or another, I suppose just saying turn the other cheek is most definitely far too simplistic. If it wasn’t this would have been done a long time ago.

On the way to work this morning Yukon Jack of 100.3 the Bear did his morning rant and I must say I think he characterized for the rest of the world not involved, directly or in a second party type way, the perspective anyone with their head not up their ass has been gaining in the last week or so. It's not directly dealing with the Israel and Lebanon situation but the messege is close enough.

Love Your Country

---------------

Edit- And since we're already on the subject, a one Mr. Matthew Good made a post on all of this that I would strongly recommend reading. For anyone interested go here

...That said, I do think it important to point out that prior to all of this occurring, the Palestinian Parliament’s two primary forces were close to completing a plan that would have recognized Israel, an unprecedented step for those Hamas MP’s involved, and quite remarkable given the short period of time in which they’d been involved in government. Unfortunately, the process was derailed when members of a Palestinian militant group that included members of Hamas’ military wing used a tunnel that had been constructed from Gaza into Israel to attack an IDF outpost, leaving four dead (two on both sides) and an Israeli soldier in the hands of the militants. It should be noted that one does not control the other, nor are members of Parliament automatically privy to the plans of fringe cells within a group’s militant wing. Most militant groups operate with loose command structures primarily to safeguard against the collapse of their efforts should their command and control apparatus be eliminated...

...Since Israel entered Gaza, 40 Palestinian MP’s have been detained by Israel in an operation that was actually planned weeks prior to the abduction. While the actions of those Palestinian militants that carried out the raid must be universally condemned, so too should the fact that Israel, long hailed as the region’s only true democracy, was planning the illegal removal of members of a democratically elected foreign government.

2006-07-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

Why can't I think of a title that cool?

As far as posts go, come back on the 27th. I should be less comatose by then.

May Long pics

2006-06-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

I've got some stuff but none I really feel comfortable talking about right now so the pics will have to do.

Thanks once again to Ben (and Craig) for providing them.

Ben

Ben again

Drunk political talk of some sort I think...

Craig

Me and Craig

About 30 minutes before I fail awake.

Uh, make what you will of this one. Craig, Ben and some other people we met on the road.

2006-05-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

hmmm, been a little while since the last post here I see.

Random thoughts from Daniel's mind:

-Work has sucked for the last three days. Not that I didn't appreciate garbage men before but my overall appreciation level has gone up given the shit we've been up to lately.

-May long was nice, but I've got to learn to not start drinking so early. Thanks to Ben for the use of the cabin and for inviting myself and Craig out; it was nice to actually go out on a May long for once.

-I'm rather scared right now that I'm going to ruin things with Courtney like I always tend to do under these circumstances. Is that bad I'm thinking this when it's hardly been a week so far...? No, given my record that understandable. A word of advice to the wise, don't ask out those you work with when you have to act like just friends at work.

-Harper is overdoing it. Sure, having the media too close to a government is a bad thing, but like most other issues moving from one extreme to the other will solve nothing. There is a difference between the media having a bias and the government demanding it be painted in a perfect light and denying reporters the right to ask certain questions. I was listening to CPAC yesterday (or the day before, I can't remember) and Don Martin, who is the editor if the National Post I believe, claimed he was given authorization to do an interview with Rona Ambrose provided he didn't ask any questions about Kyoto. And I ask, how is that journalism? The national press core might as well save their breath and not bother asking questions if they're not going to be allowed to do their job. Oh wait, they did that on monday didn't they?

-Summer...overall a good thing.

-I'm buzzed

That is all.

2006-05-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

So, I started my new job here last Monday morning on the 1st. I'm working for the town this year Monday through Friday, from the ungodly hour of 7:30 in the morning till 4:30 in the afternoon. The pay is nothing special (8.64 an hour) but at least it's money. At first I was under the impression waking up at 6:30 was going to be my death bed but, suprisingly, it's been an interesting experiance. It's nice to have so much time when you get off work to yourself as opposed to doing 9 to 6 shifts or 12 to 9 shifts and only having a couple hours when you get home before you have to go to bed. I was thinking about picking up a second part time job but figured that would get somewhat in the way of the lobby work I want to do this summer on peak oil and renewable energy.

Speaking of which, I've been in contact with The Post Carbon Institute for the last week and a half and have now officially started a branch here in Ponoka. They're not actually a lobby group themselves as much as they are an informational hub to try and help cooridinate with different communities to prepare for the effects of Peak Oil. I'm waiting on an answer from them as to whether or not I could start a lobby group under their banner so we'll have to wait and see.

I'm still not sure myself about the principals of absolutley no hydrocarbon energy sources if those sources could act as transitional fuels for the world and thus ease possible tensions and conflicts between different nations though. It's kind of a "when morals get in the way of morals" type thing. On one side you believe it goes against certain morals to continue useing hydrocarbon reserves because of the effect it has on the planet, but on the other hand you know war will most certinley have a negative effect for all species on this planet. 'War you say'? Yes, war. There are generally four sources of conflict in this world which include: Money, values and ideas, prestige/pride and resource distribution. As has already been touched on, the first and last sources are inseperably linked and I don't think it's a stretch to say with peak oil they will come into play in a large manner.

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but I can tell you World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

~Albert Einstein

But whatever, the institution is a starting/rallying point none the less. And the world needs that more ever right now.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Edit- I should note that I'm not entirely sure about The Post Carbon Institute's policy on hydrocarbons as transitional fuels. It could be they mean the idea is to have no hydrocarbons used after the world has adapted to peak oil, not during the peak and decline.

2006-05-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful, beautiful comeback. My dad was lucky enough to have a friend who had tickets he wasn't going to use. So who went to the game? This guy baby! Oh yeah. I'll tell you, there is nothing like beer, hotdogs, fries and an Oilers game, nothing.

More on Wednesday since I won't have time to post till then.

2006-04-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

Daniel is sore. Daniel dislikes falling down flights of stairs. He especially dislikes it when it happens in the dark when he is on his way to being drunk while playing poker at a friend's house. As a result, Daniel will no longer walk around with the lights off in places where he is not aware of his suroundings.

~A reminder to Daniel from his mind

2006-04-23T12:46:00.000-07:00

The blog has been too depressing these days. Apologies all around.

So, for a change in trend...

We won!!

3-2 Oilers. Overall a way better played game than last Friday's, especially in the last half of the second period.

Hmmm, what else is new and good? Well, of course classes are done now. I'm pretty sure I miraculously managed to pass my math final somehow after entering it with a 55. So I'll probably have anywhere from a d- to d+ in that class. English and French should both be B's and International Relations should be passed with some sort of an A provided the final went alright.

Other than that...I know! The sun. The sun is out. There is nothing worse than grey snowy days so the fact that spring is here is wonderful. Everyone from myself to the dog are feeling the effects of that. Lucky spent the majority of the winter moping around the house and being whiney whereas now he spends his time outside smiling and lounging around while he chases that squeaky red and blue ball of his.

That's about it right now.

More Peak Oil Stuff

2006-04-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

I long to dead, and sleep with the fishes under the sea/ they can swin through my head, and stop all the traffic jams.

~Matthew Good

Money. The horn in your car empties its insides again and again. It's eight in the morning and the streets are clogged. Money. The dirt in the field becomes more fickle as we try to suck more out of it. Damnit that food tastes good. Money. Your muscles burn like wood rubbing against wood as those pipes are carried farther and farther. Oil keeps us warm. Money. You kiss your son and daughter goodnight and tuck them in. I will go anywhere I need to so they can sleep like this at night. Money. Those briefcases exchange hands without a sound. There are dead men to be found around here. Money. It drives most things. Not all, but most.

I have yet to figure out which is more important. Money or production. Neither could exist without the other, but the proposition has certainly been put out there that if we were to break out of our current mind frames the latter could be done without the former. Personally, I'm not so sure that's a great idea given our current mind frames and problems with resource depletion.

Why am I typing any of this? Because I think a lot of people are going to die if there isn't some kind of dramatic wake up call in the next very short little while. It's kind of happening, but to what degree I'm entirely sure. Scores of books have been coming out in the last few years explaining the link between energy supplies and the complexity of a civilization. Thus, it follows if we can't continue to harness energy at the rate we've been doing do, and we refuse to set a crash course, quite simply, we're fucked.

Right now, most the pessimists say because alternative energies can't equal the amount provided per unit of energy that fossil fuels provide society can't continue.

While there are certainly valid concerns about the reaching length of alternative energies, the basic premise is, in my opinion, over exerted. The pessimists have perverted the issue with quality rather than quantity. As demand and supply rise, the price will go down. Everything, and I mean everything, is dependant upon price. But that's an issue for later. Right now is about here and now.

I said I would post some thoughts I've had on the matter in the next little while so here they are.

Economics and Limits

If someone needs a product, they trade a certain amount of a good (obviously in our system that good being money) that is considered to be of equal value to the work someone else will do to produce the good or service needed. It has, and still does today, worked marvelously on a social level. People need to consume and people also need to be kept busy; through the process of work these needs are met. If we consider what would happen in the absence of financial capital in a capitalistic society, the only other alternative seems to be a Machiavellian vacuum where realism tends to rule. Money would seem to be one of variables in the equation of A+B=C. The “A” being us as individuals, the “B” being the financial good, and “C” the product. If you change the value for any variable from this equation, you will not get the same answer. Following from this, if you have a large society with large needs, you will need a large numerical value for both B and C to support those needs. Today’s world is in this situation. Our A value is always increasing which demands an increasing C and B value.

This brings us to how money is created.

As is noted in any Macroeconomics 101 text book, the creation of money, as a paper product considered to be worth something of value, first arose when gold was used as currency. People would give their gold to goldsmiths to keep safe and goldsmiths would issue receipts to the individuals reflecting the amount of gold the individual had stored with the goldsmiths. Basically, goldsmiths were the equivalent of today’s banks. Overtime these receipts issued out to gold holding individuals came to be considered just as good as real gold itself, which in turn led to the individuals who had the gold stored not bothering to redeem it. They simply used the receipts as capital instead. As this trend continued to spread goldsmiths began to realize they always had more gold in storage than people would ever come to redeem in a day or a month. Eventually they realized they could offer interest earning loans to merchants, producers, or consumers at a higher ratio than the actual reserves they had stored. (Today this is known today as a fractional reserve system). These interest accumulating loans allowed goldsmiths to make a profit and increase money supply in their respective economy. In other words, we figured out how to increase our B value, which increased the C value- we learned how to grow our economy. (see the industrial revolution)

The same is done today, but instead of gold being stored as a reserve, banks use a paper currency, and issue out what are called demand deposits. These are loans issued out in the form of cheques or chequing accounts. In order to stimulate the economy and increase growth, banks offer these loans for people and businesses so they can buy things they normally wouldn’t have enough money in one transaction to buy. These things include cars, houses, land, computers, tools, etc, all of which add to GDP levels. In order to control the boom and bust cycle all capitalist economies experience, central banks use increasing or decreasing interest rates on loans to encourage or discourage spending.

With large consumption or spending habits of some countries though, in order to keep GDP levels growing (AKA: continue economic growth by off setting overspending in certain areas) sometimes the central banks, or governments, have to ask other central banks in foreign countries for loans. However, instead of taking out loans, as is done domestically between banks and people, the government or bank pays that foreign central bank by selling them bonds. A bond is basically the reverse of a domestic loan. Domestically, instead of a consumer taking out a loan from the bank, the consumer lends out money, with interest, to the government, and the government issues a receipt back of how much it will owe. When this is done internationally, either with a bank or a government selling a bond, the foreign bank buys the bond and adds the amount the selling country owes to its reserves.

Enter the United States. Because of the Iraq war, and rising oil prices, the government is having to sell more and more bonds to foreign banks to finance economic activity. With the large amount of money sitting in foreign banks during unstable times, these banks are becoming less and less sure of stability in the U.S dollar. If this instability continues foreign banks could start to become more and more reluctant to continue lending to the U.S. If you consider this on a micro level of a chartered bank refusing to give a loan out to a past undependable borrower it makes sense. If the borrower already has a bad credit rating, and you don’t expect him or her to pay you back, you’re probably not going to lend them more money.

This problem is compounded because this leaves the door open for the potential dumping of U.S reserves (which means banks would sell off their investments in the U.S dollar to offset larger potential future losses expected). The great risk, as Clyde Prestowitz, former trade advisor to Ronald Regan notes, is since investors are so prone to even the most mundane signals, all it might take is one bank selling their extra U.S currency to create a domino effect. Clyde points out that this almost happened when “a mid level official at the central bank of Korea used the word diversification”(The Australian) and the market fell by 100 points in 15 minutes because people thought South Korea might be shifting out of U.S dollars. If a foreign central bank actually did sell a significant amount of U.S reserve currency it could create a panic in the stock market where all buyers would start selling because they wouldn’t want to risk losing more money than they potentially could.

So what does all this have to do with peak oil?

As we examined section one, the primary, secondary, and tertiary industries are each dependant on each other existence (These are all things that add to the value of C). However, each of them owes their existence our ability to harness vast amounts energy in the form of fossil fuels. The flow of this energy is dependant upon people consuming to help the economy function (consumption adds to our B value which is money). As was proved in the Great Depression of the 1930’s, the amount of resources you have at your disposal is inconsequential if you do not have the monetary funds to harness them. Energy, at least in its cheapest form of oil and gas, is not going to be available in large quantities due to future cost constraints created by a falling supply and a rising demand. It is estimated supply will fall globally between 2 to 4% per year once peak oil hits. If we consider a 5 percent drop in production caused prices to quadruple in the 70s, which led to high inflation and interest rates, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that a 2 percent decline in production each year would eventually lead to hyperinflation and then stagflation. In theory, the lending power of chartered banks (banks where most financial transactions take place like BMO, Royal bank, TB, ETC) should decrease because private consumption will decrease and then investment costs for businesses will also rise. Thus the overall amount of GDP made by oil consuming nations will decrease. Domestically people won’t want to take out loans because interest rates will be too high and they’ll be trying to conserve. Internationally, a country like the U.S will need to take out more loans to finance economic activity, but won’t be able to because no one will trust them to be a reliable investment. This is related to our loan based economy because as Richard Heinberg points out “if new loans are not being made, then somewhere in the network people are will be finding it impossible to pay the interest on their existing loans and bankruptcies will follow (Heinberg 188)”. As many researching this subject have noted before me, if this occurs, industrial economies can eventually say bye-bye to growth.

It brings us back to the equation showed at the top of this section. Like any number of variables that combine to give you a product, if any numerical value is decreasing, a smaller c value will result. Go back to the equation at the top and rearrange it with negative values for at least one variable.

A-B= lower C value
A-C= lower B value
B-C= lower A value ?

If you subtract B (capital) from A (persons), instead of adding them, you will get a smaller C value (productivity). Likewise, if you algebraically switch B with C, changing the equation to A – C= B, your B value (the amount of capital made) will also have decreased because productivity decreased. And, as pessimists/realists have already pointed out, if an increase in A and B values spurred on an increase in C (during the industrial revolution), a constant decrease in the value of both C and B would surely lead to a decreased A value.

Compressed, the conundrum is this: In order to slow the rate of depletion we need to start consuming less, but in order to put up the infrastructure to replace our fossil fuel based one, we need to have the capital available to do so which involves keeping the wheels of consumerism turning. High oil prices sired by declining productivity will not allow for consumption, thus negatively affecting all industries in the modern industrial economy. The laws governing our industrialized economies demand we grow at a certain rate which will be difficult if not impossible

For an image of the precipice we’re looking over consider another excerpt from Richard Heinberg’s book, The Party’s Over:

“Try the following though experiment. Go to the center of a city and find a comfortable place to sit. Look around and ask yourself: Where and how is energy being used. What forms of energy are being consumed, and what work is that energy doing? Notice some the details of building, cars, buses, streetlights, and so on; notice also the activities of the people around you. What kinds of occupations do these people have, and how do they use energy in their work? Try to follow some of the strands of the web of relationships between energy, jobs, water, food, heating, construction, goods distribution, transportation and maintenance together that keep the city striving. After you have spent at least 20 minutes appreciating energy’s role in the life of this city, imagine what the scene you are viewing would look like there was ten percent less energy available. What substitutes would be necessary? What choices would people make? What work would they not get done? Now imagine the scene with 25 percent less available; with 50 percent less, 75 percent less energy(Heinberg 186).”

One thing I should note. When it comes to the bold section at the bottom of the post here, about wanting to cut down consuption but being worried about a depression mellowing the effects of a transition to renewables, I am no longer so sure about such a concern. In the 1970's oil shocks, as is noted in Stephan Leeb's "The Coming Economic Collapse,H ow you Can Thrive When Oil Hits 200 dollars a barrels", despite a lessened demand globally for oil, renewable energy projects and spending were still able to increase. If anything, a depression before the peak is exactly what's needed to make leaders and industry take a good long hard look at alternative energies.

2006-04-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

Roloson kept us in there for the game. 54 saves out of 57 shots on net and the way it gets in is off an unlucky deflection from Murray.

Rem's gotta be hurting after that.

2006-04-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

The Conservative think tank

"This will be followed by cuts to government programs. Environment Canada will be subject to an 80 per cent cut, including the entire Climate Fund."

On the Conservative chopping block:

* The $250 million dollar Climate Change Fund for renewable energy;

Dear Conservatives,

As a Canadian citizen I want to thank you and your government's position on the environment lately. I heard from CTV you guys plan to cut spending to Environment Canada by 80 percent. I say bravo! Its about time someone came out and did something about this hippy "lets be one with the environment" crap. I'm tired of my hard earned tax dollars going to things that aren't going to affect me here and now. Because that's what matters right? The here and now? People shouldn't have to pay money to things they don't like, it's undemocratic! That's why I like you guys, you're in it for the little people. I mean, I know I've heard about how big oil helped fund your last election campaign, but since you've said you're going to bring in better public accountability I'll simply trust you on instinct that you won't create loopholes for big business. As far as global warming goes, I think it's all a bunch of baloney anyways. After all, scientists who were funded by big oil said global warming is a naturally occurring phenomenon and there's nothing we can do about it. As those Tibetan monks say, "if a problem can't be solved, there's no use worrying about it". Best to focus on business as usual. Hey, maybe when the sea levels rise we'll get lucky and all those dirty Liberal voters on the West coast will get washed away! And another thing. What's all this junk about renewable energy? Why would we bother with that stuff when we'll probably find more oil from places like Nigeria, Alberta and um...else where. It'll be cheaper and as I've stated, I don't want anyone digging into my pockets for things I don't approve of. Anyways, I just thought I'd send a quick thanks your way.

God bless you and damn the Liberals to hell.

~A devoted follower

2006-04-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

Great article examining the economics of high energy prices from the Daily KOS here.

A little excript:

...but at the same time, the dollars captured by the oil producers are re-invested in US Treasuries, thus lowering the interest rates and making it easier for Americans (and international investors) to borrow - thus leading to increased spending and increasing imports (thus worsening again the deficit), and inflated asset prices, and creating, strangely enough, a appearance of increased wealth...

On the topic of energy, I've finished my paper on peak oil now and think I'll start posting it in sections here sometime next week.

And I should note one more thing. Today I added a link to LATOC.net on the side bar. I've held off from doing so for quite sometime time now because the last thing I want to partake in is promoting an attitude of pessimism (despite the url of my blog). Time has always had a way of using unseeable variables to trump predictions made about the future and making claims of inevibilty usually does little but make you look like an ass. However, with that said, I think the site does an extraordinary job of illuminating the current problems facing society today. Bash it all you like, but until you can debunk any of the math involved I would suggest holding off. Like any question, the best way to address it is by understanding the variables involved. Take a look at the site if you haven't already. It's unpleasant but necessary.

2006-04-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

The beast is here again; that’s nothing new I guess. It doesn’t speak and doesn’t allow me to either. That’s probably the most disconcerting thing since small talk usually lessens the discomfort while swelling the illusion of control. Since making cautionary glances in hopes of understanding what it is I’m up against doesn't work I abandon all pretense and just start staring. He stares right back. The funny thing is I doubt either of us knows why we’re there in the first place. Maybe that’s the point though, maybe we’re not supposed to know. Could be we’re just meant to make ourselves go insane by over thinking the matter.

Then again, what is control anyways? Free will? The lack of free will? People who believe they have none usually end up proving themselves correct and people who believe they do usually end up proving themselves wrong…well, at least in all those Greek myths. Greek play writes we’re amazing. Forget the global village and wire chained codes that make up our language conduits today. The Greeks had none of that and their stories still reached the far poles of the earth. They might have migrated slower than most things today, but in the end the meaning was their staying power, as it always should be.

But, I digress. What was I talking about? …Yes, control. Usually the best thing to do is forget about the whole mess in the first place and forget what powers this reality allows and negates you. Perhaps this is folly, but if something is not in your lexicon of language how can its meaning, for better or worse, affect you? Think of fear and imagine we don't have a word for it...

After all, a great deal of the social and political feats accomplished in the history of the world, whether they were monstrosities or social victories, were accomplished because the individuals who undertook them were:

A- Either insane and unaware of the odds they faced,

or

B- more concerned with being able to go to sleep at night than they were of facing the mountain of opposition waiting for them on the other side.

While convincing others certainly should be a goal in any cause, it shouldn't be the end sought by the means. The end sought should be the realization of whom it is you want to go to bed at night as.

Mountains create complacency; hills don't.

2006-03-28T16:50:00.000-08:00

Music is a dangerous thing.

At some points perhaps it’s best not to give shape to what you’re feeling.

...then again, I suppose you can't really destroy something it if it doesn't have shape can you?

2006-03-18T11:07:00.000-08:00

I have never wanted to run head first at brick wall, mouth open, lungs deflating at full force, more than when he started crying on the phone to me. That slobbering polar pitched voice explaining his triumph over adversity. A 50 year old crying to a 19 year old he barley knows on the phone; there is something seriously wrong with this scene. "Where is your family, your ones you are close to?", I wondered.

I sat, compressing the desire to hang up the phone, or just tell the old fool to fuck off and stop opening up old wounds because they’re all he has left. I have never had a problem with people who want to stew in their own misery, like bathing in a pool of their own fecies, as long as they don't make others watch. I can't remember what I said to him, but I do know most of it was just one word sentences like "oh" and "yeah". I tried once to use some reason with him but it didn't really get anywhere.

I think the worst part was that he never stopped talking. Any chance you tried to take to tell him you had to go he would manage to stretch and build into a different topic. "Don't you worry about me Daniel, I'm a fighter", he droned. 'Sure' I thought, 'that would explain the bottles of booze you go through every night'.

I never could be too sure if he was drunk or not though. One of the difficulties with stroke victims you see. We had heard reports from other friends of his that he was into dial-a-bottle, but at that time didn't have any proof to work with since our families only link to him during these talks was the telephone. Perhaps the reason I look back on that man with so much disgust is because of what I drew from myself through those interactions with him.

You are such an inspiration for the ways I will never ever choose to be

Or so the saying goes anyways.

I've always felt I was too lenient with his infiltration to our family. Being who I am I've never had to the heart to say what felt like should have been said at certain times. He was after all an old family friend who didn't seem to have anyone. And for some reason that's always bothered me. I consider it a weakness. Should I? Does how far you let unwelcome push your boundaries define you? Sure it does.

But whether it defines you north or south I still don't know.

Mexico Pics

2006-03-04T21:51:00.000-08:00

There were more but I'm too lazy to upload them right now.

2006-03-02T13:20:00.000-08:00

Oh-my- God

Boo-fucking hoo you lousy self absorbed red neck enviromentalist hicks.

The Cumbrian Tourist Board was amongst those opposed to the plans and naturalist David Bellamy vowed to chain himself to the turbines if building went ahead.

"Oh no! My view! My precious precious view is going to be ruined because people want...they want...well I don't know what they want because I'm stupid but I know what I don't want and that's my view ruined!"

Immediate conerns about wildlife?

Tindale has got it right.

"Climate change will ravage beautiful areas like the Lake District. I hope those responsible will be willing to explain to future generations how they played their part in allowing the savage grip of global warming to trash the countryside and claim hundreds of thousands of lives."

------------------

Mexico was fine by the way.

2006-02-21T10:23:00.000-08:00

Stupid Mexican keyboards.

Good article on oil depletion here

More later.

2006-02-16T22:33:00.000-08:00

This last week has been a blur. I seem to be working myself into the dreaded, yet strangely needed position of not being comfortable unless I'm doing something productive. Given the rather unhealthy amounts of homework we're being given at this time of the year my body keeps urging me to lay down on the couch to watch tv. But whenever I do I get this horrible feeling of lowness, numbness and uselessness due to my past productiveness with things of matter, in both the personal and public fronts.

I suppose the only relaxing thing I've done this whole week was going to see the movie adaptation of Pride and Prejudice for extra homework marks in English. That was nice. Got a bag of popcorn and a Barq's Root beer and just vegged out for a little while.

Anyways, we're off to Mexico on Saturday morning. I'm was hoping to find somewhere quite to float around on a tube, while floating back and forth between unconsciousness and a mini bar. However, given that we're going to Puerta Valletta, and that it's reading week, the chances of our resort being quite and un-crowded enough for me to do so comfortably I'm guessing are pretty slim. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I have a problem with numerous numbers of the opposite sex wearing scantly clad articles of clothing, but I do have a problem with the types of people it attracts. Plus I haven't been feeling much like a people person in the last couple months and that never really helps matters in any situation.

But, we'll see how things go. It is Mexico after all and out of country trips haven't managed to disappoint me yet so...
----------------

Things to do in the end of February and March when I get back:

Finish second 1500 word essay on Pride and Prejudice, which I have not started yet.

Finish resolution(s) for our model UN team. (What on earth does Iran have or want to contribute on UN reform?)

Write article for the Bricklayer about the stupidity of the Alberta government and their energy plan.

Finish 4000 word IR paper on Peak Oil.

Go to town hall to see about renting out rec hall to show "The End of Suburbia" doc in hopes of getting enough public support in hopes starting up lobby group. (Not that I won't start it up anyways even if I don't recruit enough members. It's just that I'm sure things are a bit more productive the more people you can convince to join.)

Then there's always math. Class everyday at 9:00 in the morning with about 2 hours of homework per day if I want to stay on top of things.

I think I'm gunna go pack.

2006-02-14T21:34:00.000-08:00

I cannot claim to be entirely fond of this day.

It's as if the other 364 days of the year aren't reason enough to celebrate such a thing.

Good night.

2006-02-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

If commonsense were present, I suspect it would tell me to beware of empathy. It would do so by stating somthing like:

"Empathy can serve no purpose but its own vanity if the guilt it creates, founded or unfounded, immobilizes the movement of its host through use of a heavy conscience."

Keeping my fingers crossed it arrives here sometime soon.

Our Short Sighted Provincial Government

2006-02-06T00:07:00.000-08:00

Wow.

For those of you who don't live in Alberta...

Welcome to the type of thinking which absorbs my current provincial government

And I quote:

"Isaac says Alberta's strengths are in the oil and gas sector and that researchers elsewhere can focus on renewable and alternative energies such as fuel cells, bio-energy and hydrogen technologies.

"We're three million people in a six billion world, and so we're not going to be able to develop all of the technologies here. So we've got to be very smart," said Isaac."

This even though setting an example for the rest of the world to follow might actually help lessen demand. This despite the fact we make more money from our oil and gas revenues than most provinces and states in the world which puts us in the best position to lead the way into renewables. This despite the fact that Iceland is composed of a population just under 300,000 and is known as the hydrogen center of the world. This despite the fact that helping keep America addicted to oil is sheer idiocy given that a terrorist attack on Saudi fields could bring oil production levels down to what they were during the OPEC embargo in the 1970s . This despite the fact we, unlike the Saudi's, do not have a global surplus production capacity which would allow us to make up for a production loss that could come from Saudi Arabia. As former CIA agent Robert Boar correctly points out in his article The Fall of the House of Saud:

Promoters of Alaskan, Mexican Gulf, Caspian, and Siberian oil all like to point out that the United States has been weaning itself from Saudi Arabian oil, for protection against the effects of just such an attack on the Saudi oil system. Saudi Arabia may sit on 25 percent of the world's known oil reserves, they argue, but it provides somewhere around 18 percent of the crude oil consumed by the United States--and that is down from 28 percent in only a decade. What these people fail to mention is that Saudi Arabia has the world's only important surplus production capacity--two million barrels a day. This keeps the world market liquid. Not only that, but because the Saudis more or less determine the price of oil globally by deciding how much oil to produce, even countries that don't buy Saudi oil would be vulnerable if the flow of that oil were disrupted.

Given all of the above, I cannot begin to describe how frustrating it is to hear such policy within this government.

The current ideology leading us, in relation to the first article posted, is this:

World oil demands are not static; they’re accelerating while production is declining, presenting “the perfect storm” for an oil showdown in the coming decades. If the world suffers a conservative 2% annual decline in oil production from existing wells, 1.7 million barrels per day of new oil production will be required to maintain even current production levels.

However, if we apply common sense, this math is simply a distortion of the facts; it isn't lying, it's just misleading. It makes you think we can make a dent a the peak oil problem when the real motive of the government, and the bussiness it supports, is simply to make buck before everything starts to fall apart. Right now, it is estimated that globally the world demands 83-85 million barrels of oil. If the peak were to be occurring right now, let us say the decline in global oil production is to occur in 2 years with an annual drop of 2% in production rates like the article says. That would mean production will drop by 1.68 million barrels, so indeed an average of approximately 1.7 million barrels would have to be produced the first year of peak oil. However, a 2% drop annually means that two years from the peak we will need to produce 4% more, thus leaving us with the responsibility of producing not just 1.7 million barrels, but 3.4 million barrels p/d. What happens the year after that? The world will need 5.1 million more barrels of oil produced to stop production from declining. After that? 6.8 million barrels. After that? You get idea. And that's only provided global demand stays at the 83-85 million range we're at right now, which admitted by everyone with any common sense, including those that make up and advise the current Alberta Government, is impossible. It is estimated by many people that global demand for oil in 2020 will be at 120 million. What will production have to be then to keep up with demand? The idea that we can and will provide the U.S with energy for the next hundred years, let alone 400, is pure fantasy. Right now, we only produce 750,000 barrels per day. Even if Iran, Nigeria, China, Russia are tapped, as some people expect them to be, it has to be taken into account how much those countries could produce altogether to make up for supply shortages. And even if they could potentially, it should be asked whether political termiol in the first two would allow for such levels of production.

Then there is the issue of Saudi Arabia.

Current research and experience indicate that this (Hubbert's Peak) is already happening, on schedule, today. Canada’s oil sands reserves are one of very few supplies (along with Saudi Arabia’s giant Ghawar field) that can grow production over many decades to come.

According to Kenneth S.Deffeyes' book Beyond Oil, on page 44:

...on March 6, 2003, the Saudi government announced that their production had maxed out at 9.2 or 9.5 million barrels per day.

Saudi Armco has already redrilled Ghwar with horizontal holes to improve both water injection and oil recovery (on page 31). You don't drill horizontal holes and increase water input for wells unless your production levels are starting to drop; you do it to keep pressure high. While it is true Saudi Arabia does indeed have over 80 working fields, half of the oil produced, as pointed out in Boar's article, comes from Ghwar. And as was just pointed out, there are questions about Ghwar's future production capacity rates.

Even if we could somehow up production rates to make up for a shortfall in oil production, an account also needs to be taken about global warming and the threat it poses. Currently people warn:it threatens to stop the Gulf Stream which keeps North America and Europe from entering into extremely harsh winters; and because of the shrinking of glaciers worldwide, it will drastically affect our water supplies.

Also in relation to that, as is pointed out in another article I posted earlier about producing oil from our oil sands:

Hot water is added to the sand, and the resulting slurry is piped to the extraction plant where it is agitated and the oil skimmed from the top.

I'm not going to speculate, but if it takes a large amount of water to do this what are we supposed to do when our water supplies start to shrink?

We have one of the most short sighted governments in the history of Canada. Klein got thrown on top of a mountain of wealth and then somehow got the credit for it being there in the first place, as if his governments good fiscal planning was and is to credit. This despite the fact that our revenue collected per barrel of oil is something like 4 dollars compared with Norway's which is around 11 dollars. Our Heritage fund only has 13 billion sequestered, where as Norway’s, which was started around the same time as ours, is now around 120 billion. And people have the audacity to claim good fiscal management? The governments energy consultants are telling them not to invest in our future, how is that a good management of resources?

Of course the usual argument comes out:

"Oh, but by keeping the revenue we earn on each barrel of oil at this price we attract more investment"

As if the oil companies would have somewhere else more profitable to go if we decide to raise the price a bit in the first place. Venezuela? Good luck getting your grubby little hands on anything over there. Iran? How about another nice Iraq war the Americans can go and induce? Elsewhere? Global crude oil production has been flat since 1998. This government is in the pockets of big oil and private business everywhere; it should come as no suprise that economics has engulfed politics here and thus any hope at all for a good balance of common sense.

2006-01-31T18:49:00.000-08:00

I think the worst part of it all, even after only seeing a small portion of it, is that you realize there is no reason etched in stone for you to succeed.

If others can succumb to the types of fate they've succumbed to, due of factors out of their control, there is no reason to think any God or any type of fate should be looking after you. You are an ant, upon an anthill, that is upon a mountain, that is upon this earth, which floats in a void of neverendingness called the universe.

And I must say, I find that disconcerting. Unlike Jack's little saying, it's not that everyone else has had it so good, it's that you're the one who's had it so good compared to everyone else and the only thing you can think of when that comes to mind is why?

I'm tired of feeling like this.

2006-01-29T02:18:00.000-08:00

(1) Do you look more like your father or mother?
Father

(2) Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Most of the time no, but it really depends on the situation

(3) How old are you?
20

(4) Do you know anyone who has the same birthday as you?
Nope

(5) What annoys you more than anything?
Quagmires of information

(6) What is your favorite junk food?
Rolo Ice Cream hands down

(7) favorite show on nickelodeon:
Uh… not sure

(8) what's something about a guy/girl that'll turn you off?

(9) have you ever taught a little kid a curse word?
Hope not

(10) where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Working for a political party, but in what personal condition I have no idea

(11) do holidays make you festive?
Um, normally...this year not so much

(12) what is your favorite cereal?
hmmm… rice crispies mixed with cheerios

(13) what's your opinion of the u.s. retaliation in Afghanistan?
I don't feel like answering this question right now

(14) how do you react when someone is talking to you --up in your face?
Don’t know. Last time it happened I was a rather different person (in grade 10) confronted by someone about 3 to 4 years older than I was. I’m not sure how I’d react now a days. I guess it would depend on how large said person is and what kind of mood I was in.

(15) where do you like to go on a first date?
Restaurant usually (so original I know)

(16) what movie could you watch a million times never get tired of?
I’m not a huge fan of watching things over and over again but if I had to pick I'd say...The Butterfly Effect?

(17) What are you wearing right now?
Blue jeans, black long sleeve shirt and brown billabong jacket

(18) do you get feelings for people easily?
Yup

(19) movies at home or in a theater?
Depends on my mood

(20) if you won a ridiculous amount of money in the lottery what would you do with it?

Something productive for society one would hope.

(21) what was your first pets name?
Peaches

(22) do you sleep on the left, right, or the middle of the bed?
Right

(23) what time did you wake up this morning?
10:00 am

(24) what time did you go to bed last night?
2:00 am

(25) What are you thinking about RIGHT NOW?
Question 20

(26) how old are your grandparents??

My grandpa’s 85. My grandpa on my dads side passed away when I was 2 and my other grandma’s I can’t remember…they’re in their late 70s I should think

(27) who was the last person you spoke to through IM?
Predy

(28) do nice guys really finish last?
Define last…

(29) what are your plans for this upcoming week?
Homework, work on essay some more and think about what essay means to me

(30) what radio station do you listen to most?
Probably 98.9 just because it’s the only one most available to me at the time and because I destroyed my cd player in my car because it upset me while driving one day

2006-01-27T21:38:00.000-08:00

Found this in the comments section of Matt's site.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this here since I doubt anyone will read it, but I feel I should anyways.

ENVIRONMENT:
China’s Upward Mobility Strains World Resources

Jim Lobe

WASHINGTON, Mar 9 (IPS) - If per capita income in China grows at eight percent per year — a reduction from the red-hot pace of 9.5 percent it has grown since 1978 — it will overtake the current per capita U.S. income in just over 25 years, according to the latest analysis by the Earth Policy Institute (EPI).

And if those increased incomes translate into the kind of lifestyle currently enjoyed by most U.S. citizens, Chinese demands will overwhelm what the planet can provide it, according to the analysis, ”Learning from China: Why the Western Economic Model Will Not Work for the World”.

While geo-politicians worry whether China will integrate itself into the current western-dominated international system, Lester Brown, EPI’s founder, is far more worried about the impact of a wealthy China on the Earth’s diminishing resource base.

”If it does not work for China,” he notes, ”it will not work for India, which has an economy growing at 7 percent per year and a population projected to surpass China’s by 2030.”

China’s demands on the basic raw materials to feed its galloping economy have become increasingly clear here in just the past few months as successive trade delegations, including one headed by President Hu Jintao himself, have made their way to Latin America to sign long-term supply contracts for the production of commodities from agriculture to mining.

In a 12-day, four-country trip in November, Hu announced more than 30 billion dollars in new Chinese investments in Latin America in basic industries and infrastructure designed to facilitate the export of raw materials from the region across the Pacific over the next generation.

China’s economic boom is the biggest single factor in the steady rise of commodity prices worldwide over the past years, a factor that, coupled with its investments and shrewd diplomacy, is buying it considerable goodwill in much of the developing world, but especially in South and Southeast Asia, as well as Latin America.

Indeed, a survey of 22 countries commissioned by BBC and released earlier this week found that China is now viewed as playing a significantly more positive role in the world than either the United States or Russia and that majorities or significant pluralities in 17 of the countries were particularly positive about China’s growing economic clout.

The poll, of nearly 23,000 people, was conducted by GlobeScan and the University of Maryland’s Programme on International Policy Attitudes in late 2004.

But Brown, a founder and former director of the Worldwatch Institute who has long warned about limits to the Earth’s ability to sustain wealthy lifestyles, at least as they exist in the United States, now argues that, to the extent China’s growth is aimed at replicating such lifestyles, its efforts will ultimately prove futile.

Chinese consumption of each of the ”five basic commodities used in the food, energy, and industrial economies — namely, grain and meat, coal and oil, and steel — already has overtaken that of the United States in all but oil,” he writes. ”Now the question is, What if consumption per person of these resources in China one day reaches the current U.S. level?”

China’s current per capita income is estimated at about 5,300 dollars a year, only about 14 percent of U.S. per capita annual income of about 38,000 dollars. If its economy’s annual growth rate slowed to eight percent per year, China would reach the current U.S. income by 2031; if it grew at a mere six percent a year, it would reach current U.S. levels by 2040.

Assuming the eight percent growth rate and that Chinese consumption habits will be similar to those of the United States today, per capita grain consumption would climb from 291 kilogrammes today to 935 kilogrammes for a U.S.-style diet, according to Brown.

That would bring total Chinese grain consumption in 2031 to 1.352 billion tonnes from only 382 million tonnes used in 2004 — equal to two thirds of the entire 2004 world grain harvest.

”Given the limited potential for further raising the productivity of the world’s existing cropland, producing an additional one billion tonnes of grain for consumption in china would require converting a large part of Brazil’s remaining rainforests to grain production,” according to Brown, who noted that if Chinese per capita meat consumption alone were to rise to today’s U.S. levels, about 80 percent of the world’s current meat production would be consumed by Chinese.

Even more daunting are similar estimates for energy production. If by 2031 the Chinese use oil at the same rate as the U.S. does today, it would need 99 million barrels of oil a day, or 20 million barrels per day more than the entire world currently produces.

Similarly, if China’s coal burning were to reach current U.S. levels of two tonnes per person per year, the country would use nearly three billion tonnes annually by 2031.

Current annual global production stands at 2.5 billion tonnes. As fossil fuels, oil and gas will also mean unprecedented amounts of greenhouse gases — blamed by scientists on climate change and global warming — released into the atmosphere.

If steel production per person in China were to climb to U.S. levels, it would mean that China’s aggregate steel use would double by 2031 to a level equal to the current consumption of the entire western world.

If China were to reach current levels of automobile ownership in the U.S. (three cars for every four people), it alone would have a fleet of 1.1 billion cars by 2031, compared to the current global fleet of nearly 800 million.

”The paving of land for roads, highways, and parking lots for such a fleet would approach the area now planted to rice in China,” according to Brown.

Similarly, if China were to ape current U.S. consumption of paper products, which are reliant on forests and recycled paper today, it would need nearly twice the amount of paper produced worldwide last year to satisfy its needs just for 2031.

”The point of this exercise of projections,” writes Brown, ”is not to blame China for consuming so much, but rather to learn what happens when a large segment of humanity moves quickly up the global economic ladder.”

”Plan A, business as usual, is no longer a viable option. We need to turn quickly to Plan B before the geopolitics of oil, grain and raw material scarcity lead to economic instability, political conflict, and disruption of the social order on which economic progress depends”, according to Brown. (END/2005)

Earth Policy Institute

Bored

2006-01-26T22:17:00.000-08:00

Moi il ya deux ans (did I say that right?)

Ponoka Ben got a digital camera on the weekend and, at the time, had not yet mastered the ability to control his urges to shoot everything in sight (which I doubt he will anytime soon). He took this on our way to The Jolly Farmer's pub last Saterday.

Color

Black and White

2006-01-18T19:07:00.000-08:00

You would think in a time when you're not feeling so boyent by where you are, reading something like this (I dare you to go to page 8 of 54) would put things in perspective. Strangely enough, putting things into perspective doesn't always make you feel much better.

If we survive all the shit that coming our way in the 21st century I will be amazed.

Water depletion, oil depletion, global warming, avion flu, nuclear/bio terrorism...

So with that said, if you would all go out and vote this Monday and make sure our election turn out is higher than last year it would make me very happy.

2006-01-15T02:03:00.000-08:00

You know, if there's one thing I miss most these days, it's soccer.

I think some of the best memorys, even comparing with the childhood years, were on tournaments in other towns. I'm not sure why, but there is a simplicity in the goal of the game and the communication that occurs between players on each team.

Maybe that's why it's loved so much around the world. You have one goal and no other variables come into play. (then again I suppose all sports are like that really, but whatever...)

One memory in particular I have was in Camrose about three years ago, I believe, where we ended up playing a night game. It was my first and only one and I don't think I'll ever forget it. Playing on a lit field underneath stars is something else, alright. I don't think the team and I had ever played a more agressive and corridinated game against a more corridinated team. The lack of breath mixed with success is what makes the game worth playing. I remember running straight into this tall mother f-er, getting knocked down on my ass, sliding backwards about five feet , getting right back up and catching back up to the ball... I hardy stopped him two feet but, yeah...fun times.

I need to join another adults league.

2006-01-13T13:18:00.000-08:00

The conservatives have a 12 point lead over the Liberals.

Over the last month and a half I haven't really been all that concerned with who wins this election. The better parts of my brain (or the most mixed up for that matter) tell me that the world is full of different people with different ideas and different morals. Like all groups of people, some ideas are bad and some are good.

To be honest, it's a lot less stressful to not always be mad at another group of people for your perception of their shortcomings and simply except the way tihngs are going to be. That's not to say you don't fight for what you believe in, you just don't cry over spilt milk so to speak. Eventually, if the party is stupid, it will reveal itself for what it is...well, in most cases anyways.

Anyways, I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this. Just felt like I should at this point in time.

Whatever...

---------------------------

I want a scarf...and one of these.

2006-01-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

Hadn't heard about this before today; where the hell have I been?

Sharon has stroke

This is scary, real scary. I'm sure conspiracy theorists are running around screaming bloody sabotage (which I wouldn't be all that surprised if it was, even though complications like this happen all the time all over the world):

The surgery apparently had been complicated by an anticoagulant Sharon took following a mild stroke Dec. 18. The medication may also have contributed to Wednesday's stroke. Sharon originally had been scheduled to undergo a procedure Thursday to seal a hole in his heart that contributed to the initial stroke.

Independent experts said that while the medication, an anticoagulant called enoxaparin, did not cause the blood vessel in Sharon's head to burst, the bleeding would probably not have been so severe if he had not been taking it.

Since Sharon obviously left his Likud Party before his stroke, I'm left wondering who is in power in such a situation:

Sharon aide Raanan Gissin warned that if any of Israel's foes tried to "exploit this situation ... the security forces and IDF (Israeli military) are ready for any kind of challenge."

which makes you wonder if hardliners might take advantage of the situation and try to provoke the Palestinians into doing something stupid.

This sucks.

So I'm a little late, sue me.

2005-12-30T22:58:00.000-08:00

Sweet heavens is War of the Worlds ever rank.

Rather large spoilers ahead if you haven't seen the movie or read the book

I'm not a movie buff really, but Speilberg manages to pull you into the movie like a dream. By focusing on just one family's plight, always running away from the action, it gives you a truer sense of what something like that might really be like.

I was gunna say something about the first scene where the tripod pops out and starts vaporizing everyone but this guy did it better than I would have:

Perhaps Spielberg's wisest choice in these scenes was to actually let the extras compliment the major actors, rather than just focusing on the recognizable faces. That is not to say that they are not almost always prominent, but it is awesome to see Cruise's reaction amongst about 150 other literally 'devolving' citizens. The panic and hysteria has taken over them all - they trample and kick and punch like nothing that I've ever seen. before.

For those who whined about the specifics and unbelievablitly of the movie- I understand your pain, but urge you to remove the stick from your butt. The movie wasn't about whether or not governments would have noticed huge machines buried deep in the earth or whether 15 people could really over power a huge mechanical arm. It was about pulling the audiance along with only Cruise and Dakota, in an attempt to make you think about how something like that would really be. And by focusing specifically on those 2 (for the most part anyways) and their reactions, as each encounter progresses (The van getting highjacked; Cruise's reaction to Tim Robbins going insane; and Dakota, when in the cage with all those other people, to name a few examples), it manages to do just that. I guess what I'm trying to say is it seemed to be more about emphasizing the specifics of human fraility (and keeping you really realy tense for that matter) than giving a smart story backup.

Albeit, the ending came a little too suddenly and there is no reason for the older kid to have still been alive in the end, it was still a great movie in my opinion.

Peak Oil: a scam?

2005-12-26T14:45:00.000-08:00

Something I'm working on.

Corporate Dominance?

This is worth a listen

I found the site off of Life after the oil crash.net surprisingly enough. Like all good arguers, the site in question is posted, I believe, in order to discredit it.

On his site, Savinar states:

If Peak Oil is "Big Oil propaganda" (as some claim), why did Sonoma State University's Project Censored declare it one of the most censored stories of 2003-2004? Surely, if "Peak Oil is Big Oil propaganda", Big Oil would have found a way to get it off the pages of under-funded publications like Project Censored and onto the pages of the mainstream papers and into the 24/7 cable news cycle.

Likewise, if "Peak Oil is a myth propagated by the greedy oil companies to justify high prices", why didn't any of the greedy oil company CEOs offer "the peaking of world oil production" as a partial justification for high gas prices when they testified before Congress about high gas prices?

Strangely enough, it seems to me at least, Savinar answers his own question in the next couple paragraphs:

The answer is simple: the true consequences of Peak Oil cannot be acknowledged in such a highly public forum without crashing the financial markets...

So, why act as if you were suppressing the knowledge of peak oil if it isn't real? How about to strengthen the illusion of the scam itself. If peak oil is indeed not real, it would seem strange that the engineers of it would allow the crash of the exact market they're going to be making money off of.

Also, consider these facts:

-Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, and just about all other opec countries, need a certain amount of money to finance different operations within their own respective nations.

-As the price of oil goes up, the price of everything goes up. Right now, "over 30 percent of world output, 70 percent of world trade, and 80 percent of international investment is controlled by transnational corporations. All that while overseas production of these firms exceeds the levels of world exports, making them key players in the world economy. As was stated in the latter point, it's worthwhile to trace where the money is going to go if prices rise.

-If you wanted to create an artificial scarcity, what better way to do it than stop building new refineries and then make the claim that oil is scarce?

-Goldman Sachs predicted in April of 2005 that oil could reach 105 dollars within a years time. But the thing is, Goldman Sachs makes money off the futures market; the higher the price of oil, the better.

-Most importantly, if oil is abiotic, as some people claim it puts a huge twist on the peak oil debate. Last Wednesday, I talked to my local MLA, Ray Prins, and when we got into the discussion about oil being possibly abiotic, he brought up that last Monday, a well, of about a billion barrels, was found 30,000 feet deep. This contradicts the current belief that oil deposits can only be found in depths of 5000 to 10 000 feet deep. I've looked around but found virtually nothing about it, which only further seems to push the idea that a western media bias is being pushed on us. If I can find the article I'll post it up as soon as I can.

I don't want to get into the reasons why peak oil might be real right now because I intend to post a rather lengthy essay near the end of January of March on the both sides of the debate. Anyways, I'm sure anyone aware of the debate already knows the ramifications if it is real.

Also, even if it is a scam, given the ramifications of continued oil and gas extraction I find myself questioning whether I would want it exposed due to the long term by products.

But, none the less, I thought I would post this anyways.

-------------------------------------

And, one last thing in relation to the mp3 I posted at the beggining.

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) has backed a new $685m (£395m) loan for Iraq, in a move seen as an endorsement of its economic reforms. The loan represents the IMF's seal of approval that the Iraq government is taking the correct fiscal measures to mend its war-ravaged economy.

In other words- Privatization, baby.

You know you were drunk when....

2005-12-24T13:06:00.000-08:00

Last nine numbers dialed on Daniel's cell phone:

1- 854 442 *7777
2- 575 777 76*77
3- 620 050 50057
4- 500 57
5- 306 060 90
6- 0 052 002 502
7- 528 205 05582
8- 403 303 9603
9- 838 686 81306

2005-12-23T17:26:00.000-08:00

Man, do I ever feel like a leach.

I'm done now, I promise.

2005-12-21T23:08:00.000-08:00

See-never that simple

One person says one thing, another person says another thing, which leads you to question both peoples reasons for saying such things, and it goes on and on and on.

Maybe a smaller world would be better.

daniel rambling incoherant coherancies

2005-12-21T22:40:00.000-08:00

Is it strange to start forgetting certain things at this age? Forgetting how to forget what eats you and remembering how to forget what doesn't...how does someone manage something like that?

These last months have been unlike any others before. It's not that I'm depressed; it's just that...there's nothing really. For the first time in my life there's nothing to really look forward to. I mean there is, but just not in a selfish personal way. The world has great potential in everyway and I, without hesitation, am interested to see which way we'll go. It's just being part of the world, if we go in the wrong direction, that makes me part of that direction, even if I am going against it. Right now, I am part of something I want no part of. Yet, at the same time, I have no where else to go. How do you remove yourself from something if that something is at the same time the thing that's keeping those you love alive? I guess it's not even that simple, if you can call that simple in the first place.

We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine, and it's bleeding to death

Ask myself a million times, can you honestly be wrong if you had the right intentions? In the end does it really matter? In the end the end will still be here, right? Morals in the face of the products of actions- an analogy where the means justify the ends, or they don't.

I've been wondering for sometime now whether or not souls can exist before their manifested in human beings. Not after, but before. Do you have to earn one? Do you have to lose it? If you believe in that kind of thing anyways. Myself, I have just as much reason to believe in the concept of God and the afterlife as I do not to (Go figure, my whole life is like that).

2005-12-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

Well, I'll be damned

I had heard a little bit about this a while ago but never bothered to look into it.

I think the article summed it up rather well at the end.

"If The Onion's parody has demonstrated anything, it's that we should be worrying about adults not being able to distinguish between fiction and reality. The kids themselves seem to have a pretty good grasp of it."

And as stupid as such a case may seem, I can at least understand it. There's enough shit that goes on in the world to make anyone who bothers to look at it clearly, and sometimes perhaps a little to closely, uneasy. Illegal sex trades, drug wars, corporate lobbying at the expense of the public good, enviromental degragration, etc. If you have any ounce of collective concern in your heart or head, which ever such a thing comes from (if not both), you tend to ask yourself why these things happen and in doing so, how they can be stopped.

Premise A leads to premise B, which added up with premise C, leads us to our conclusion. I do it everyday and most likely so do you whether you notice or not. The difference of course being that either you use well backed up qualitative and quantitative evidence to explain why you've arrived at your conclusion, or you use what your up bringing taught you was common sense. The problem with common sense being that morals, in some cases at least, don't make for the best premises to base conclusions on.
-------------------------------------

Finished my last test last wednesday. Final mark in french was on A- ; philosophy was a B; and I'm not sure how my International Relations test turned out, but I got my term paper back when I handed in the test and it seems I somehow managed to ace it. I've never had such enthusiastic comments about a peice of work I've done, ever. That felt nice, especially considering the shitty day I had had.

The paper was on the crisis of petro-politics (aka-peak oil) and the environment. I think I'll eventually end up posting it here but it'll be my research essay that I end up posting. The one I just wrote was my argumentative essay and I didn't have nearly enough room to fit everthing in that I wanted to (hell, I'll be lucky if I manage to even in the research essay). Anyways, I promise it'll be good when it's done since I've spent like the last year and 8 months reading the different opinions and potential problems that exist with the topic itself.

But back to the main topic here- yay for me and my marks! Cause I don't ever get marks higher than a B+, at least certinly not final marks or important papers.

New Song...

2005-12-11T18:46:00.002-08:00

Tis called- October will Enter

Vocals are getting better; at least I think they are. It could just be that I've sung and heard the same damn lyrics like 75 different times and I've now become so habituatued to them that I can't tell if they suck or not.

Anyways, as always to anyone who comes across this page, advice is welcome.

A little Review...

2005-12-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

Playing- David Usher: Long Goodbye

Went and saw Syriana with Mike, Craig, and Andrea last night. While the story is somewhat difficult to follow at times, it is extremely well written and I would highly recommend checking it out. Personally, I don't think the writers could have made it any less simple without sacrificing the essence of the complexity they were trying to explain exists in the current economic and political structures of society today.

All in all, it wasn't the big epiphany about the role oil plays in first world nations that I was expecting, but it certainly does hint at it quite consistently throughout the movie. It's probably that fact that there is no denouement at the end, mixed with all those hints through out the movie that make it that much stronger at the end. Everything pretty much just climaxes at the end and then it's over leaving you to consider everything you've just watched and how it all played out.

I suppose if I had one complaint about the movie it would be that it doesn't really do a good job at explaining the motivation behind a lot of the characters actions in the movie. I mean, there are a lot of things that happen to everyone, but it's hard to pin point exactly what has affected who, at least with certain characters- Matt Damon’s being the obvious exclusion. Maybe that was exactly the point or maybe you just need to watch it a second time to get a better understanding.

Anyways, yeah, you should go and check it out.

2005-12-07T19:29:00.000-08:00

I watched a bit of Lost in Translation today; Scarlett Johansson reminds a lot me of Michelle Miller. Man, that girl was for lack of a better word "smoking". Funny story about her; well actually, more about me.

Last summer I managed to get myself a date with her and then in typical fashion screwed myself over before we even went on it. At work, me, her, and this kid who was about 2 and half years younger than me, named David, were in the back of the store getting rid of some carts of carboard. (For the sake of a subplot explanation I should explain that David and her had gone to school together so they did know eachother; they weren't friends, but more so aquantimces.) So anyways, as I was saying, we were all in the back when David started throwing some cardbord at her and making jokes (not in a rude way, but in a way that friends usually do when they're just joking around). It was at this point 2 problems came into play for me:

1- Michelle wasn't doing a very good job of defending herself back (at least I like to tell myself that for the sake of explaining my intervention) and,

2- I had just asked her out the day previously and she had said yes.

My conclusion under the circumstances was if I just stood there emptying the cardboard into the cardbord compactor acting like I didn't notice them it would just seem bad; like I didn't know how to handle myself in situations that could potentially become uncomfortable for both people who understood the situation- which was me having to fufill the stupid western sterotype that men have to protect their women (not that I considered her "my woman" or some such nonsense, but she had just said yes to me asking her on a date so you know...) All in all, it probably would have worked out much better if I hadn't bothered at all but, I guess that's fate for you...or just my lack of common sense. One of the two.

So, I decide I'm going to run at David, pick him up by his legs, hoist him on to my back/shoulders, and pretend I'm going to dump him into the garbage can. What ended up happening was a bit more like this. The first part of my plan, which included running at David, works out fine- the rest, ufortunatley, does not. I'm not sure if I made some sort of strange grunting noise while running the 2 meters to where they were both fighting, but David somehow saw me coming at the last moment and ended up reacting quick enough to put me into a headlock. At this point in time, things could have been salvagable if I had just given up, gone limp and said something like- "crap". However, as I have hinted at earlier, that was not to be. Given that David was 2 and half years younger than myself at the time, I figured I should easily be able to break myself out of such a hold. So, I give a big burst of movement and energy in attempt at breaking free and end up failing miserably. Being somewhat perplexed by this strange 180 turn in events I became determined to, as I saw in my mind, "make things right" So, once again I give a large burst of energy and fail to reach the desired results; so I did what any decent self respecting guy would do under the circumstance- I flipped out and had what I suppose would look the equivilent of a silent tempertantrum while being subdoed by security in a mental hospital (1)

Anyways for about...2 minutes maybe?(2) this struggle continued with us moving all around the back room, me slamming David backfirst into the cardboard compactor etc, while still in the headlock; until Brain, our supervisor at the time, walked in and we both stopped because of course we would have gotten in shit had we not. The whole time Michelle was standing to the side watching; thinking what I'm probably glad not to know (3).

Just picture that whole overreaction on mypart in your head and the subsequent humiliation that occured as a result of that overreaction. And this wasn't just at the end of work either where I could just sink off into the darkness either; this was with at least 3 hours of work left. I spent the rest of the time in a rather shocked mood with a blank stare occupying my face while I stocked shelves with with her, David and 4 others who were working at the time. I don't think I said more than 20 words after that happened to anyone.

Not really the proudest moment in my life. You try going out on a date with an incredibly beautiful women the next day and exercising even an inch of confidence. Given the circumstances, the fact that I actually managed some degree of normality, in my opinion, speaks minions for me.

Anyways, yeah...that movie reminded me of her so I thought I'd share that.

1- Once again, I should have just given up, but at that point it had become a personal matter of pride. I don't consider myself to be a vain person, at least socially, but any guy who's ever been in a situation where they're about to be humiliated, by someone much younger than them, in front of a girl they really like should be able to understand this.

2- I'm really not to sure how long it all lasted. Time has a way of slowing down to dispicable porportions when you're in the dog house so to speak.

3- Not that I considered Michelle to be anything near of a snobby stuck up type girl at all- more than anything I'm sure she probably felt pity for the fact that I thought she cared; but myself, being a guy and all, I found it hard to imagine anything else other out right disgust.

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Random thoughts:

-Not to be rude or anything but there should be a rule about blog posting where certain people should not be able to pass link pasting off as posting. There is nothing more annoying than link posting without discription.

-Marching with Horseflies, a Ryan Dale song (of Limblifter fame) rocks. Go listen to it here

2005-12-04T16:08:00.000-08:00

It would seem you cannot view the side bar of my blog through I.E.

For those of you having the same problem on other blogs I'd reccomend downloading Firefox: http://www.mozilla.com/

2005-11-24T22:16:00.000-08:00

So I've managed to screw up my arms again for the second time in about a month and a half. The best I can do is bend them in about a 140-150 degree angle before the tendons or whatever you would call them holding my lower and upper arms together begin to strech past their limits. How did this unfortunate accident happen you ask? Well, as usual, when I'm feeling depressed or just numbed right out (you know that feeling you get after you've watched like 8 hours of straight tv in one day?) I decided to go to the gym in town to get my head cleared up and the blood flowing again. So, I give Craig a call, meet him at the gym an hour later and walla!- 2 hours later I'm cured. However, upon waking up the next morning I discovered myself unable to bend my arms in a straight line without causing myself a considerable amount of pain. I'm pretty sure that was Tuesday morning, so I'm doing a bit better now.

I probably could have forseen this happening, since I did the exact same thing to my triceps last month after a long absence of working out, but alas, planning ahead is not one of my stronger qualities.

Russian oil

2005-11-23T14:43:00.000-08:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4461214.stm

"Want is an ever growing giant who the coat of have never was big enough to fill."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nuclear Energy

2005-11-22T22:10:00.000-08:00

The link option on my blog isn't working so you're gunna have to deal with the old cut and past method if you're interested in reading the whole articles.

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4454468.stm

You know, if one is going to take a stand on an issue, any issue, be it private or public, it really should be common sense that such a stand or policy is one you want the world to follow.

Some things to know about nuclear energy:

http://www.nuclearpolicy.org/index.cfm?Page=Article&ID=2257

-“… if we decided today to replace all fossil-fuel-generated electricity with nuclear power, there would only be enough economically viable uranium to fuel the reactors for three to four years.”

-“In the US, where much of the world's uranium is enriched, including Australia's, the enrichment facility at Paducah, Kentucky, requires the electrical output of two 1000-megawatt coal-fired plants, which emit large quantities of carbon dioxide, the gas responsible for 50per cent of global warming.”

-“In fact, the nuclear fuel cycle utilizes large quantities of fossil fuel at all of its stages - the mining and milling of uranium, the construction of the nuclear reactor and cooling towers, robotic decommissioning of the intensely radioactive reactor at the end of its 20 to 40-year operating lifetime, and transportation and long-term storage of massive quantities of radioactive waste.”

If that’s green, I’m Santa Clause’s wife.

There we go...

2005-11-04T12:59:00.000-08:00

It’s strange how only when you’re finally close to someone you care about, in geographical terms at least, you realize you are, and most likely always will be, farther away from that person than you were when you weren’t near them.

Given that, I find it fittingly ironic that I would come to such a conclusion sitting outside her steps in the morning last weekend while nursing a hangover. It’s not a pleasant feeling being ignored for someone else by some one you care for more than regular caring for would ever permit. Maybe it was all just in my head, but I spent a fair amount of the summer and fall feeling that way since we started talking again back in June. I can’t think of anything else to describe the feeling except to use the word “shrinking”. All the positive qualities that make you who you are begin to diminish. Maybe it’s not healthy to hold such a view, but I don’t fancy being dependant on others; it’s not fair for you and I guess it certainly isn’t fair for the person you’re dependant on. Given the choice to end, or at least the pursuement of, something you’re not sure exists, is one thing that can not be taken from your grip in such circumstances.

Maybe that says something wrong with the way I look at the world but, to be honest, I don’t really care. While this may seem to be coming off as a melancholy post or an attempt at depressed writing, that's really not what I’m aiming for. I’m not sure why, but the situation I find myself in doesn’t bother me that much at all. If anything, I feel much better now overall than I did during the summer. Maybe that’s just growing up, maybe its just the feeling of certainty.

Anyways, what else is new…

I find I feel at home at the college here; at least in the sense of a kind of home away from home. I don’t want to go back to working and not being in a classroom. I enjoy learning about things while having the knowledge that I’m working to towards a certain end. I wonder if I’d ever like to be a teacher…

The society is going just as good, if not better, than last year did and isn’t really showing any signs of slowing down. Like last year, I’ve met some of the most sincerely good people I’ve been privileged enough to meet in my life time. I suppose I would just link that to the type of mind frame they carry around (trust me, if people are willing to dance around in a circle like hippies in order to show solidarity for a cause, despite how strange it might look to an outside observer, there can be little said to belittle their commitment to what they believe in- I went to an environmental workshop last month; don’t ask.)

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Snow, snow is here. Last night I read a bit of a book in bed before I fell asleep with the blinds open in my room-which are normally closed before I go to bed but as I was to tired to get up and close them they stayed open- and woke up with a view of everything outside covered in luscious (is that how you spell that?) beautiful snow. I’m not sure why I like it so much, maybe it’s because it changes the mood of different songs I listen to all the time (try walking through a street with trees here and there, while the sun is shining down, listening to an acoustic version of Gen X-Wing), or maybe it’s just because the scenery change provides a different attitude for you to feed off of. Whatever it is, I like it.

Here’s to more snow.

Damnit Daniel...

2005-10-30T20:01:00.000-08:00

I seem to have lost the ability to express myself properly. Rest assured, I am doing my best to remedy the situation, but since I'm not alltogether sure of the catalyst that may take a bit longer than one would normally expect.

Sorry about that.

2005-10-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051019/ap_on_bi_ge/mass_transit_fuel

I think they say it's something like only 6 to 8 percent of a household budget that goes to energy costs. What about other industries?

"Mass transit systems nationwide are considering cutting service, laying off staff, raising fares and delaying capital spending to meet rising diesel fuel prices. The spike at the pumps could cost public transportation systems as much
as $750 million more a year."

"Going back to 1970, we usually budget around 91 cents a gallon," Jones said. "We added an extra 30 cents per gallon, but even then it simply wasn't enough.
We didn't anticipate the prices would be this high."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051019/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_iraq

With that in mind, I find it strange how oval office is under the impression that they can continue stretching their resources in the future when they could be dealing with internal problems on a much bigger scale in the future. It's been said time and time again, but it really can't be said enough, and that is with the backgrounds of all major civilizations that have collapsed in the past (Rome and Mesopotamia come to mind), a major reason was extending it's resources further then could be handled and than succumbing to law of diminishing returns within. If energy prices rise to what some people are expecting them to rise to in the future, and no good alternatives are established, something rather unpleasant could end up happening.

2005-10-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

Picked up a couple new cds on an impulse buy yesterday along with a dvd. Which cds you ask? Well, hmv had their 2 for 25 deal going on so I decided to pick up Death Cab’s new cd “plans” and The Constantine’s “Shine a Light. I listened to Death Cab in bed last night but seeing as I was drunk it was rather hard keep track of what I was hearing; I’m just listening to it now. Haven’t checked out The Constantines yet but I’ll be sure to report back on how they are. The dvd was also a Death Cab For Cutie thing. It’s called “Drive Well, Sleep Carefully” and I would recommend it to anyone into music documentaries.

It’s strange how you can tell people’s personalities by the music they listen to. Of course you can’t just lump one group of people into a certain category because they listen to one type of music, but I do find that there is a certain symmetry between the moods of certain genres of music and the general attitudes of how the people that listen to those genres look at life. I’d have to say indie rockers are my favorite types of people. Not that I’ve had the fortune of being friends with too many people that are into it, one of the draw back coming from a small town, but the mentality of those types of people I find are more in line with where I am at this point in my life.

I want to be a Death Cab For Cutie type guy. There is something dark about their music in the sense of those porno mags you keep under your bed and yet at the same time light and organic. Not as much now, but still a bit, I’ve tended to be into the dark corners of music that express the seemingly inescapable, yet pathetically weak, aspects of the human psyche. Actually, it’s not even that I’m not still into it, but I just want to be more easily drawn to a song like “The New Year” than a song like Scatter the Ashes’ “Caesura”. Both songs are great in their own right, but one has a much different outlook on life.

It’s kind of the chicken and the egg thing. Does the mood inside your heart and head draw you to the music first or does the music define what you get to feel and in doing so create a cycle of emotion that is particularly difficult to escape?

2005-10-10T15:33:00.000-07:00

Listening to: The Tea Party- Angels

So, new blog...feels good.

If you look at one blog today, other than mine of course since if you're reading this you are indeed already here, look at Mercer's. The owl remark about Toni Valeri's picture is beyond funny.

Cook Book

2005-10-09T22:27:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Explosions in the Sky- Magic Hours

Last real post on my old blog; figure it's appropriate here as the first.

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words
Watch your words, they become your actions
Watch your actions, they become your habits
Watch your habits, they become your character
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny”

~Unknown

I’m 20. I turned 20 at 2:00 P.M on a Tuesday a little more than a month ago; last year at 2:00 P.M on a Monday I was 19. A lot has happened since then.

I remember sitting in the academic councilors office back in September after I had had my first couple of classes and needed to switch a couple of them due to prior admission mistakes made the April earlier. There was a piece of paper up on this specific councilors office wall that read something I considered then, and even more so now, quintessential to where I would allow my head to lead me in life. I can’t remember the exact phrases but the thesis was about the light and strengths in people’s personalities allowing those they come in contact with to become better people themselves. After reading it I sat for a couple moments contemplating and then came to the abrupt conclusion the piece of paper was nothing more than asinine glossed over by euphonic writing skills. If anything at that point in time, at least in my own mind, the only thing people’s strengths did for me was blight out my own.

Looking back, nothing could be further from the truth.

If there has been one thing that has dominated the last year of my life it’s been trying to find myself and my strengths while among a chorus of amazing characters who know theirs’ extremely well. That’s not to say I wasn’t aware of the good qualities that were possessed by my own nature, looking back the amount of strength I was able to put into various projects without a certain amounts of input sometimes surprised me, it’s just I’ve never really been able to levitate myself to the levels of character I’ve come to understand and respect in the last 3 or 4 years from various different peoples.

But the more I think about the last year, meeting all the different people in my poli sci club, the different teachers I’ve had, and even the people I’ve worked with and had to deal with through work, I feel as if, by some strange form of osmosis, I’ve gained a new perspective on how to approach reality. Two persons in particular are Mark and Rod Schumacher. Mark was my supervisor, and manager of the IGA, when I was working there this summer and Mr. Schumacher was my English 219 professor last term. I’ve been sitting for quite some time trying to figure how to describe what it is about those two which makes me consider them people that persons are lucky enough to come into contact with maybe every decade. They’re most certainly is not cocky individuals, quit the opposite actually, but they both have this all encompassing radiation of certainty of character that I’ve very rarely seen in my lifetime (however young I may be). I’m not going to try and go into anymore detail because I’ll probably end up making an ass of myself so I’ll just leave it at that for now.

So how do Mark and Mr. Schumacher fit into all of this writing you ask? Well, they fit in here because if there is one thing that I would like to say I have come to the conclusion of within this last year it’s this: Ego is everything. Many make the mistake of confusing ego with cockiness and it is such thought that leads to the depreciation of ones currency of thought, and therefore, worth in action. Ego is confidence under all circumstances, even when you’re down for reason that can only be attributed to yourself, because it is an acknowledgement of those invariant strengths that are a part of your character now and forever. Ego is certainty. And if your mind is certain, then it’s clear.

Which in turn leads me to this.

I was reading an essay a couple days ago I stumbled upon while looking for interviews done with “Explosions in the Sky”. This one to be exact:

http://www.sickamongthepure.com/files/2005/03/12_genre/genre.html

I feel I should share an excerpt I find particularly important in what I’m trying to convey. Bear with me because this might seem like a large tangent to begin with.

“...It really is a matter of artist-audience exchange and consciousness on both sides; is music a product we consume and then get in line to consume again, or is there a continuous link from artist to audience that is perpetuated by both entities and aims toward greater interests of collective awareness – the ultimate catalyst for a generation stifled by a thousand different sensory devices.

After sufficiently absorbing an album, a girl is consciously informed by it and prepares to utilize it as a catalyst for her own project – let’s say she’s a sculptor. While listening to the album, she molds clay and water into a figure reflective of the sensations and impressions drawn from the music. There may be no obvious or physical connection between the content of the music and the sculpture, but her work is invested with the experience of listening to the album; part of the origin of the sculpture is the music.

She completes her work and displays it for her audience. She does not title the sculpture or list any identification (name, date of creation, etc.). The sculpture exists as it is. One person views her work, walking around the sculpture and perceiving it from all possible angles. He absorbs her work and is informed by it. While looking at the sculpture, he takes out a notebook and begins writing – let’s say he’s a poet. The individual completes a substantial poem indirectly informed by the sculpture; the content between the two works varies, but each is intrinsically linked to the other. Part of the origin of the poem is the sculpture.

Because the sculpture was informed by the album, the poem is informed by the album as well. Each artist is subordinate to her/his creation and understands that (s)he is only contributing to a pre-existing chain of social creations. While an artist may not perceive herself to be socially active (going out with friends, etc.), her art is fundamentally social. It must interact with an audience for it to evolve beyond the individual consciousness of the artist.”

It’s my belief that this philosophy, for lack of a better term calling it “the cook book philosophy ”, fits in all perceived notions of interaction with reality and the people interacting in those realities. Simply put, we all influence everything we come into contact with. The art we admire or connect with mold our philosophies’; the philosophy’s we choose to believe and follow affect those we act them out on; and in turn they affect us back. Show me love and I’ll show it back to you; show me hate and I’ll probably do the same in return; show me and intelligence and I'll do my best to search out the same to match it; and show me inspiration and I’ll give all of the same back.

You never quit changing. From the day you’re born to the day you die, you never quit. You’ll gain and lose and then gain and lose some more and then given the circumstances some things will stay with you longer than others. So make sure you surround yourself in thoughts, atmospheres and people who will change your ego for the better. Because in turn, whether you want to or not, you will and always are changing those who come into contact with you.